Man Asks Woman To Pay For Movie Tickets On Their First Date Because She Recommended It — After He Asked What She Wanted To Do
The situation sparks a conversation around first-date etiquette.
@morganroos96 / TikTok The answer to who should pay on the first date will vary depending on who you ask. For heterosexual couples, traditionally the man is responsible for paying while others argue that the bill should be split evenly. One woman on TikTok was left confused after planning a first date with a man, asking viewers who was “in the wrong” after they had different expectations of who should pay for what on the date.
The woman’s date asked her to pay for their movie tickets since she was the one who ‘recommended’ the idea.
In a TikTok video posted by Morgan Roos (@morganroos96), she raised the question of who should be expected to pay on the first date, depending on the situation.
Roos shares that she has been talking to a 38-year-old doctor online and that he asked her out on a date. The man suggested that they go out for drinks, but also asked Roos what she wanted to do.
“I was like, ‘Drinks could be fun, but the new Barbie movie comes out and I’d really like to see that,’” she informed her date. The man agreed, and they planned on getting drinks and seeing the Barbie movie for their first date.
The night before they were all set to go out, the man sent Roos a text message that left her perplexed. “He’s like, ‘Hey, did you get the [movie] tickets yet?’” she reveals. After she informed him that she had not bought the tickets yet, he asked her why not.
“I’m under the impression that this was a first date,” Roos says, believing that the man would treat her. However, he seemed to feel differently.
“I’m the one that recommended drinks, you’re the one that recommended a movie,” Roos’ date told her, believing that he should be the one to pay for the drinks and she should be the one to pay for the movie tickets.
“I can’t tell who’s in the wrong here,” Roos says. “While he’s correct and I’m the one that recommended the movie, you’re the one that asked me on a first date and you also asked me what would I like to do.”
Roos wonders if she should be going “50/50,” with her date paying for drinks while she pays for the movie tickets, or if she should expect the man to pay since it is their first date.
TikTok users offered their advice and beliefs regarding first-date etiquette.
Some people believed that the man should pay for the first date, especially if he is the one who asked out Roos.
“The man asked you out, he asked what you wanted to do then agreed to it. He buys the tickets,” one user commented. “As a 58-year-old man if I asked you out I would definitely pay for the first date. No matter whose idea it was to do whatever,” another user shared.
Other users believed that the man’s behavior was a “red flag” and encouraged Roos to cancel the date. However, others believed that the cost of the first date should be split evenly between both parties.
“He asked her out for drinks and she wanted to see a movie. He agreed just like she agreed. 50/50,” one user wrote. “She made the suggestion to do something so she should be going half,” another user commented.
Although other users believed that it was a simple miscommunication and that Roos and her date should have established who was paying for what before he asked her to buy the movie tickets.
“I don't think anyone is ‘wrong,’ just a miscommunication,” one user wrote. “My rule of thumb is asker generally pays. I wouldn't stress much and grab the tickets.”
The expectation of who should pay on the first date is different for everyone, and the circumstances must be considered.
There are long-standing cultural assumptions that the man should pay for the first date in heterosexual relationships. However now, it is important to be open-minded while embarking on a first date, with both parties being prepared to pay, per the Harvard Business Review.
It is best to have a discussion with one another before a first date to establish who will be covering what part of the expenses.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.