Fans Rally Behind Bebe Rexha's Ex After She Shares Message From Him Telling Her She Gained Weight
It seems fans think she crossed a line by sharing their private conversation.
DFree, s_bukley / Shutterstock; Bebe Rexha / Instagram On July 15, 2023, singer Bebe Rexha posted a screenshot of a text message from her now-ex-boyfriend, Keyan Safyari, sparking a wide-ranging conversation covering the topics of intimacy, privacy, and body shaming.
Fans are rallying behind Bebe Rexha’s ex, Keyan Safyari, after she shared a text from him telling her she gained weight.
Rexha and Safyari began dating in 2020. Safyari, 39, is a Los Angeles-born producer, director, and cinematographer. Yet it appears that their romance has come to an abrupt end after Rexha made a private text he’d sent her into public information.
The response to Rexha’s post isn’t moving in the direction that the 33-year-old singer likely expected it would. Her decision to publicize a conversation between herself and Safyari on the subject of her weight gain has made her the focus of intense criticism from fans.
Safyari apparently told Rexha she’d gained weight, after she asked him to tell her if she’d gained weight. The text from Safyari read, “I never said you weren’t beautiful and I never said I didn’t love you. In fact, I said how beautiful you are and how much I loved you. But I always said I’d be honest with you and your face was changing so I told you it was... that was the conversation we were having and you asked.”
It’s probable Rexha believed that Safyari was fat-shaming her, which is why she shared his text. While no one, aside from Safyari himself, can definitively say what his intent was, it seems fairly apparent that he gave an honest yet loving answer to a delicate question.
Many fans are defending the way Safyari answered Rexha’s question, believing that it was an example of open and accountable communication.
The issue of accountability was raised in a tweet from Alex Clark, who asked, “What’s wrong with this text? Sounds perfectly honest and respectful while also holding her accountable!”
Safyari made it clear that he loved Rexha and thought she was beautiful, yet his message still seemed to contain aspects of the problematic discourse that surrounds weight gain.
“Because I care, would you rather I lied to you? You gained 35 pounds, obviously you gained weight and your face changes? Should I just pretend it didn’t happen and that it’s OK?” he asked. In wondering if he should have, in his own words, “pretended” her weight gain didn’t happen, “and that it’s OK,” it appears to frame gaining weight as something that’s not okay.
The reality is, gaining weight isn’t wrong or shameful — and it really is okay. Part of being human is having a body. Part of having a body is accepting that our physicality will change throughout our lives.
In an interview with Jennifer Hudson from May 2023, Rexha addressed gaining weight. She explained that she received a diagnoses of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, or PCOS, which often contributes to weight gain in women.
Other parts of Safyari’s text revealed that Rexha seems to feel insecure about gaining weight, and as a result, she projected those insecurities onto him.
In the text, he wrote, “Come on, I gain 3 pounds and you call me ‘chubbs’ and ‘fat.’ Doesn’t mean you don’t love me. If you’re trying to find reasons to break up this makes sense… but it’s not the real reason. If you’re unhappy with me/yourself/with life and don’t see a future with us then that’s OK and that’s the reason. Don’t use something like that to weaponize your anger or anxiety or any insecurity you may have.”
Safyari reiterated that he loved Rexha, and recommended that she engage in self-reflective work in order to heal.
“You know I have always found you to be beautiful and loved you no matter what,” he wrote. “I think it’s important for you to think about things and write things down, speak to a therapist and do this retreat thing to get to the root of the problem. Let me know if you’d like to speak, if you need more clarity. Love you.”
It’s possible Rexha interpreted Safyari’s comments on her weight as insensitive, or cruel, or toxic, and that’s why she chose to make them public. Yet the reality of the situation appears to be more complex than that.
It seems that Rexha’s perception of her own self-worth hinges on thinness, which is a harmful yet overarching societal narrative, one that’s not easy to break free from.
One fan, who spoke directly to Rexha in an Instagram comment, explained why sharing Safyari’s text was the wrong move to make. The fan wrote, “Bebe, love you as an artist, but what you did was low as a person. That was a private conversation between the two of you! The world didn’t need to know that, as he wasn’t being violent or threatening towards you. He was honest and loving and [sometimes] that comes with harsh truths.”
Safyari’s text to Rexha is part of a larger cultural conversation that’s hard to untangle. Yet one truth remains clear: Gaining weight doesn’t inherently make someone unlovable or undesirable, no matter what society wants us to think.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.