Divorced Mom Admits That She's Tired Of 'Motherhood Tasks' & Refuses To Put Her Life 'On Hold' For Her Children
She wants to be able to live a life outside of being a mother.
fizkes / New Africa / Shutterstock A mom candidly opened up about not wanting to live her life for her children after having done it since they were born.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument — a mom to two teenagers revealed that she's sick of having to drop everything to cater to them and, instead, wants to discover more about herself.
She shared that she's tired of 'motherhood tasks' and doesn't want to put her life on hold for her kids anymore.
In her Reddit post, the mom wrote that she had recently gotten divorced a year ago and admitted that it was the best choice she could've made for herself. For years, she had been the "maid" for her family while also working full-time and it was an extremely exhausting feat.
"It's been a bit rough for the kids with the youngest being 14 and the oldest being 17. They are doing well overall and we basically have a 50/50 split with custody," she shared. With the split custody between her and her ex, it has left her a lot more free time and an ability to discover who she is aside from being a mother.
With her children growing older and her no longer having to cater to their needs all the time, she's begun trying out different hobbies. "I joined a models club, you build models and show them off, we met once a month to show off our creations, I love it."
However, she recalled a specific incident between her and her eldest child that proved she no longer wants to put her life on hold for her children. She explained that her 17-year-old had volunteered for a bake sale and both failed to tell her about it while also not making something in time for the sale.
"I was about to leave for my meeting last night and he was panicking about not having it done. He asked me if I could do it and I told him no since I was leaving," she wrote. The next morning, the cupcakes still weren't made since she had refused to bake them, and her son became annoyed about it.
The two got into a fight about her not helping him out, but she argued that she no longer wants to drop everything to help out her children, especially since they are now of age to do these things themselves.
"I wasn’t putting my life on hold for a simple mistake he did. He left for his father's and my ex also got in an argument with me about it and called me a jerk," she continued. She concluded her post by wondering how she can express to her children that she no longer wants to just be the "maid" for them and that she has her own life she wants to live now.
Many parents are opening up about experiencing parental burnout and yearning to live their own lives.
A 2022 report published by The Ohio State University found that 66% of working parents meet the criteria for parental burnout — a term that means they are so exhausted by the pressure of caring for their children, they feel they have nothing left to give.
Mothers must be able to find their own identity apart from being a parent. They have their own unique dreams, interests, and passions that go beyond their role as a caregiver to their families.
By exploring and pursuing these personal endeavors, mothers can experience a sense of personal fulfillment and satisfaction. It allows them to nurture their own needs and aspirations, leading to greater overall happiness and well-being.
Photo: mavo / Shutterstock
In the comments section, people agreed that she wasn't in the wrong for refusing to stop living for her children.
"It’s not your fault he volunteered himself to make the cupcakes, forgot to inform you of this, neglected to make the cupcakes, and then chose to hang out with his friend when he could have canceled and made the cupcakes," one Reddit user pointed out.
"Your son needs to learn how to prioritize his responsibilities over his wants, and learn that neglecting his responsibilities has consequences."
Another user agreed, writing, "Kids gotta learn to be responsible at some point. If he's got his own schedule going, he's got to learn to handle it."
"Your kids need to know that. You're not always gonna bail them out. Better to learn that lesson with silly cupcakes, than something more serious," a third user chimed in. "You do you Mom!"
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.