Mom Shares The Most Exhausting Part Of Being A Parent That Often Goes Ignored
No one warns you about this when becoming a parent.
@annaleegrace15 / TikTok It’s no secret that parenting is a tough journey. When becoming a parent, you are warned about sleepless nights, lack of freedom, possible financial struggles, and postpartum depression. However, these are not the only aspects of parenting that need to come with a warning label.
One mom shared 'the hardest part of having kids' that's not talked about enough.
The mom, named Annalee, began her video by sharing that she screamed at her kids that morning. “Not just a little scream, but a big full-on screaming right back in their faces,” she described, explaining that it was just one of those days that all of us who are parents can relate to — her children fighting with each other, having meltdowns, screaming at her for doing something they asked her to do.
Annalee went on to say that if she were to guess what the hardest part about having kids was before she had them, her guess would be lack of freedom or sleep. These are the aspects of parenting that everyone talks about.
Annalee claimed the truly hardest thing about being a parent is the exhaustion of having to emotionally regulate 24/7.
It takes incredible patience and strength to “watch these humans combust in front of you and stay cool so that they can regulate and take in all of their emotions for them,” Annalee vocalized. She was overstimulated and snapped, which resulted in her screaming at her kids.
Immediately afterward, she sat them down and apologized. Annalee explained to them that she got really upset like they do sometimes and couldn’t control her emotions anymore. Because the struggle of emotional regulation, the fatigue that comes from it, and the repercussions of it (i.e. screaming at your kids) are not talked about, Annalee feels alone in her struggle.
She ended her video by proclaiming that “even if you are a wonderful mom or a wonderful dad, you are a human first and we’re going to make mistakes.” By apologizing for the mistake that she made, Annalee showed her kids that no one is perfect. With her closing statement, she invited other parents to realize that about themselves too.
Users in the comments thanked Annalee for sharing her struggles with parenting.
One user wrote, “Thank you for making me feel not so alone.” A second user thanked her for including dads and shared that his experience being a stay-at-home dad is the most mentally exhausting thing he has ever done.
A third user explained that she was having a similar kind of day and appreciated that Annalee was talking about it.
Experts offer ways for parents to regulate their own emotions.
According to a 2015 review of studies related to emotional regulation in parenting, a parent's ability to regulate their own emotions is crucial to the development of their children mentally, physically and emotionally. "Difficulties with emotion regulation are thought central to a number of clinical disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, depression, and substance use and abuse," the review found.
Parenting undoubtedly takes practice and, as the mom in this video shows, sometimes we make mistakes along the way. However, Shannon Loehrlein, LCSW, has shared a few ways for parents to prioritize emotional regulation including taking time away from their kids, practicing breathing techniques, exercising and being sure to make time for fun.
Tarah Hickel is a Washington-based writer and a frequent contributor to YourTango. She focuses on entertainment and news pieces including human interest stories.