Mom Says She 'Kind Of Resents' Her Kids' Rich Friends — 'Please Find Friends With Moms Who Have Messy Hair And Messy Homes'
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Savannah DeMatteo / Pexels A mom wrote into Reddit to list off the various reasons why she’s bothered by who her kids choose as friends. She blew off steam on the subreddit r/parenting, lamenting the fact that both of her kids consistently make friends with kids from wealthy families.
The mom said she ‘kind of resents’ her kids’ rich friends, wishing they would ‘find friends with moms who have messy hair and messy homes.’
She explained that her kids, who are 9 and 11, “gravitate towards kids whose parents have money.” She can’t help but compare herself to “their friends’ parents [who] are never within the same income bracket as us.”
She acknowledges that her feelings of resentment are “not fair to the kids, who didn't ask to be from wealthy families and need friends just as much as anyone else.” Yet she feels frustrated by the friendships her kids cultivate with wealthier kids, because they inevitably ask for things she can’t afford.
Photo: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
She offered examples of conversations she’s had with her kids, who tell her that “William got a VR headset that cost $400,” or, “William’s parents are taking him to Disney World for winter break, when are we going to Disney World?" Her hypothetical response to that question was, “When $7k falls down from the sky into my hands.”
The mom feels like what she provides for her kids pales in comparison to what their rich friends have.
“My humble one-hundred-year-old house, with the rickety stairs and small bedrooms and not a lot to do, just can't compete with their homes," she said. Her kids tell her about their friends’ moms, who “converted the entire basement into a play area [with] air hockey and rock climbing.”
The mom described what it’s like when those rich friends visit her home for playdates, recounting that “in comes this girl, who within an hour is already bored, asking my daughter, ‘So, what do we do now?’ after my daughter showed her toys and jumped on our small trampoline for a bit.”
“Don’t even get me started [on] when the parents then pick up their child and I have a d-–n Ferrari in front of my house,” she said. “They come in and scan the inside of my place while in the doorway, with all my mixed matched furniture and cats scurrying everywhere.”
Even though the mom feels insecure that she’s not rich, she also recognizes the importance of keeping it to herself, explaining, “Of course, I would never tell my children. I love them and don't want them to feel self-conscious, the way I feel.”
In a slightly contradictory statement, she then exclaimed, “Let them keep inviting these people til the cows come home. But my goodness, enough with the rich kid friends.”
Photo : Kampus Production / Pexels
She ended her gentle diatribe by urging her kids to “please find friends who also have moms with messy hair and messy little homes whose basements are just basements!”
Evidently, her post was relatable to other parents.
A fair amount of comments were left by parents commiserating both with her sense of insecurity and with the challenge of explaining to their kids why they can’t afford the same amenities that their wealthy friends have.
One person offered their perspective, having grown up as the “poor kid with rich friends.” They explained, “Of course, I asked for things and was envious from time to time, but I never once compared their life [or] parents to mine. No one was better than anyone else to me — just different lifestyles.” They noted having an understanding that their parents “did the best they could and I learned to appreciate everything I worked for.”
Another person commented on the benefits of her kids having rich friends with expensive toys, stating, “they get to play with all the cool new s--t and you don’t have to buy it.”
Someone else made the astute observation that most likely, “the parents aren’t judging you — you’re judging yourself and you gotta let that go!”
While the mom might not provide her kids with extravagant vacations or fancy toys, she’s giving them what seems to be a stable home, along with the opportunity to connect to kids who are different from them. As one person wisely advised, “Love your kids how you can. You are doing a great job.”
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.