Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Telling Teen Daughter 'I Wish You Weren't My Child'
The scary part is, she didn’t feel bad for saying this.
Ermolaev Alexander / Shutterstock Reddit user Pity-the-weaklings shared her story about abuse, her estranged daughter and lack of empathy in a recent Reddit post to the subreddit r/offmychest. In this post, the Reddit user described how she was impregnated when she was 16 and had a baby by 17 due to sexual assault. She “never felt a connection” to her child and even “hated” her.
The woman explained her nonexistent relationship with her daughter.
The mom claimed that she refused to nurse and take care of the child for the first five years of her life.
The child was then given to her father who obtained full custody. When the daughter was about 15-16 years old, she showed up at her door because her life with her father, who the mother described as an abusive narcissist, was not good. The mother mentioned that her daughter’s father is abusive and a narcissist, so no wonder the daughter’s life is not great.
She said that she would not be much better because she doesn’t like kids. She said that she allowed her daughter to live with her but did not treat her as her daughter.
She did not see the teen as a daughter but as a product of the abuse she endured.
The daughter was trying to get to know her mother, but the mom became annoyed by this. She didn’t want her daughter to know about her personal life. Finally what "broke the straw’s back" was when her daughter asked her why she allowed the father to take her when the mother knew how bad he was.
Photo: Reddit
The mom told her daughter that she never wanted her.
“You were just a parasite to me,” the woman said to her daughter. She went on to say that she never wanted to be a mother and that she will never be her daughter’s mother.
The daughter was distraught and left the woman's house. The OP explained that she is “honestly not even worried. She was just a random teenager in my house.” The post concluded with the mother explaining that her boyfriend believes that her feelings are valid, but she shouldn’t have talked to a child like that.
The people in the comments were baffled by this post.
They were unanimous in their opinion that this mother was not being empathetic.
One user said that the poster’s feelings were valid, but asked why she didn’t put up her daughter for adoption or get an abortion. Another user brought up a similar point. They said that the mother should have exercised the choices that she had rather than blame the child because the child didn’t ask to be born.
“You both need therapy. It’s okay to feel the way you feel. That little girl is just looking for someone to love her. You don’t have to be her parent but you can be a friend to her,” a third user writes.
They are absolutely right, the daughter was searching for a way out of her situation and turning to her mother for help.
According to a study by the Children’s Bureau, a child who has endured long-term abuse and/or neglect can have severe physical, psychological, and behavioral consequences including but not limited to malnutrition, high blood pressure, PTSD, toxic stress, alcohol and drug use, and unsafe sexual practices.
This is a lot to deal with but the daughter was brought into this world and someone needs to help her.
Tarah Hickel is a Washington-based writer and a frequent contributor to YourTango. She focuses on entertainment and news stories that include viral topics and pop culture.