Single Dad Wants To Put His 2-Year-Old Up For Adoption After Feeling 'Unfulfilled' & 'Alone' In Fatherhood
It is normal for parents to be overwhelmed and have moments of doubt. However, people argue that he knew what he signed up for.
G-Stock Studio / Shutterstock A regretful single dad is considering placing his toddler up for adoption after fatherhood was not at all what he envisioned.
Feeling lonely and secluded, he took to Reddit seeking the advice of others if the adoption was the appropriate route to take in regards to his son.
The father claims that he is feeling ‘unfulfilled’ and ‘alone’ being a single parent and wants to place him for adoption.
Sharing his story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA–hole, the 23-year-old man revealed that he and his girlfriend unexpectedly found out that they were pregnant in college. While the man argues that he is not “pro-life” he did not believe that an abortion was the right option for them or their unborn child. “She wanted to have an abortion but as a Christian, I felt that this was against my beliefs,” he wrote.
Source: Reddit
The man ultimately decided that he could raise his child. “I was graduating that year and already had a pretty well-paying job lined up so I felt that I could provide for my kid,” he shared. His girlfriend however did not want to be involved with the baby, which meant that the man would be a single parent. “That fall the baby was born and after that, she moved back to her home state (she went out of state for college) and I got my son,” he wrote.
Two years into fatherhood, the man is not as confident as he originally was with his choice. “I just feel so tired and secluded from the world,” he admitted. “My only friend is my son, between work and him I have no free time.”
He claims that he does not live near family, and visits from them are scarce and he is unable to be promoted at work due to his constant parental responsibilities. On top of everything, the man also shares that his dating life has become non-existent. “Like who wants a 23-year-old guy with a kid,” he wrote.
Photo: pikselstock / Shutterstock
“I just feel unfulfilled and alone and it has started to take its form in a little bit of animosity against my son and I never want that to happen,” the father says. “I want to be a great dad that loves his kid but I don’t think I can be that, I’ve tried for two years. You always hear about this undying love you’ll have for your kid but I just never had that.”
The man asks other Redditors if he would be wrong for placing his son up for adoption. Ensuring that he would be placed with a good family and would not go into foster care, he is complementing if this is the right decision for both himself and his son, who he claims has grown attached to him.
Source: Reddit
“The thing that makes me think that I am an a—hole is that he has started to form an attachment to me and that it would be unfair on him to leave him and unfair on his grandmother that also has a good connection with him,” he wrote. “But what makes me think I’m not an a–hole is that I think that his childhood would just get worse the more lonely and unfulfilled I feel and that he’s better off with a more stable family.”
Redditors slammed the man for believing that he could take on fatherhood by himself at such a young age and that adoption was a cruel choice.
“Your son isn't a pet. He's not a dog you can just rehome when you find out the breed is incompatible with your lifestyle,” one user commented. “He's your son, and I'm sorry none of the other parents in your life told you this, but the moment your son entered this world your needs and wants plummeted to a far second to his.”
“She [the man’s girlfriend] wanted an abortion, and you said no. If it wasn't for you saying that, this kid wouldn’t be here. So it’s your fault in the first place that you’re stuck in this position,” another user wrote.
“How could you not have realized you would be responsible for a whole human life by keeping the baby? This was your choice,” another added. Others pointed out that there are plenty of single parents in the world who balance everything in their life along with raising their children.
The man followed up with his post and revealed that he would not be placing his son for adoption.
He reconsidered his decision after reading through the comments of others, admitting that he was in a “dark place” at the time he wrote his post. “I am going to see a therapist because something’s wrong with my head and I need to figure it out,” he shared. “I will also try to join single parent groups like a couple of you suggested which I really think will help.”
The man also reached out to his college girlfriend, asking her if she ever wanted the chance to meet their son. However, her mindset remains the same. He also claimed that he would be hiring a babysitter to assist with childcare.
“I just want to say that I love my son and that I genuinely thought that him getting adopted by a stable family would be better for him,” the man wrote, adding that he struggles with depression and that his emotions got the best of him.
Parenthood is not easy, and no parent will deny that fact. We hope that this father gets the help he needs for the sake of both himself and his son.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.