Single Mom Called Out For Lying To Her Daughter When Her Dad Doesn't Show Up To 'Save Her From Disappointment'
Placing blame on the mom for protecting her daughter is placing blame on the wrong person.
TikTok A single mom filmed herself asking for advice on what to do in a complicated situation with her daughter’s father. Kennedy addressed her followers from behind closed doors in the bathroom, saying, “Guys, it happened. I have tried for the longest to save my daughter from the disappointment her dad’s gonna cause her, because he’s very inconsistent, and I’ve done my best.”
The single mom said she lies to her daughter to shield her from disappointment when her dad doesn’t show up.
Kennedy represents a growing number of parents raising kids on their own. The Pew Research Center reported on a study of 130 countries and territories that shows that the US has the world’s highest rate of children living in single-parent households. The report found that 23% of children under the age of 18 are raised by a single parent, over three times the amount of children worldwide raised by single parents, which comes out to 7%.
Kennedy explained how she handles her daughter’s dad’s inconsistencies, which she usually does by making up excuses and covering for him.
She stated, “If he says, ‘I’m coming to get you,’ I let her know already, ‘well, he may have to work,’ just to kind of like, prepare her for him not showing up, because he’s not going to. So, therefore, she doesn’t think it’s her fault or anything, I’ll just like, plant the seed, ‘Oh, he might have to work.’ I’m giving him an out, usually every time.”
Kennedy looked visibly distressed while retelling the most recent version of her co-parenting situation.
“Last night, she’s talking to him on the phone, and she went in her room because I don’t want to hear him talk, and somehow she left the conversation with the impression that he’s coming to pick her up when he gets done working. Now I know 100% that’s not true, because one, he lives two hours away, and two, we haven’t discussed pick-up [or] drop-off. I know it’s not true.”
“She has her mind set that that’s what he said. So I’m trying to like, [say] ‘no, he said he’ll call you back,’ which I did hear him say that, he’s not gonna pick you up, he’s gonna call you back because it’s late and his house is really far away. She starts crying, because she was like, ‘I want to go to my dad’s house,’ and like, what do you say? It’s like, I want you to go to your dad’s house. I want you to see your dad, but I can’t make him… I don’t know what to do.”
Kennedy seemed to be at a loss on how to navigate this particular challenge of single motherhood, and all she wanted is to protect her daughter's tender emotional state.
“So I finally get her calmed down, like, ‘yeah, he’s gonna call you back,’ because he said he would call her back. So I texted him, like, ‘Please call her back, because she’s in here crying because she thinks you’re coming to get her, I told her you said you were going to call her back, just please make sure you call.’ He doesn’t freaking call.”
“He doesn’t freaking call,” Kennedy exclaimed. “Now, I gotta deal with that mess.” As she finished filming, viewers could hear her daughter call for her, and see the bathroom door beginning to open, showing that Kennedy is on-call as a mom all the time.
As a single mom, she was trying to protect her daughter, but some people blamed her for lying to her child.
Kennedy posted in the comments section, defending herself by saying, “Y’all, she’s 3. There are times I don’t make an out for him, and she knows he didn’t show. But other times I try to protect her feelings. It’s tough.” She stood up for herself, noting, “Let’s remember to blame him, not me. If you’ve been in this situation I’ll gladly read your advice or tips.”
Some of her followers offered their advice, including one mom who reported going through the same situation with her daughter’s father. The mom advised Kennedy to “stop giving him the ‘out. I know it’s difficult to watch your daughter cry for him, trust me. She will form her own opinion of him over time.”
The mom also said that “All you can do is make sure she knows you won’t lie to her. Let him lie, let him do what he’s gonna do. You can’t change that. You can make sure she knows that Mama is always there and will always be there to tell her the truth.”
Kennedy's earnest plea for guidance shows that her heart is in the right place and that she will remain a consistent figure in her daughter's life, even when her daughter's dad is not.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. As a former postpartum doula, she covers parenting issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.