3 Sneaky Signs Anger Has Taken Over Your Life (& You Don't Even Realize It)
You may not even realize you're angry.
KIRAYONAK YULIYA / shutterstock Everybody has a bad day. It's unavoidable. Most of the time, people can roll with the punches and take these bad days in stride, riding out the storm until calmer waters are navigated. Sometimes a bad day can work itself out if we step back and let it take its course.
But, if we are beginning to find ourselves experiencing one bad day after another, as if we were stuck in Groundhog Day, then we may want to consider that it might be more than just a bad day; it might be the onset or settling of anger — you just don't know it yet.
Anger, by definition, is a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility. This emotion is one that we all experience. It's normal.
However, being in a constant state of anger is a much deeper and darker emotion that could destroy everything around us as well as ourselves — over time. This can be considered long-term anger.
Anyone who is stuck in long-term anger may have the potential to lose who they are and what they have to anger. What follows below are a few tell-tale indicators that someone is experiencing more than a bad day — and what one can do to change the course of self-destruction.
Three tell-tale signs you are stuck in long-term anger, not just having a few bad days
1. You blame others, repeatedly
If we find that we’re overly critical or judgmental in specific situations or across the board, we could be harboring some self-inflicted anger. Blaming others can also stem from needing to be right all the time or not seeing ourselves as possibly part of the problem.
Instead…
Practice putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.
Before we judge, over-react, or verbally assault someone, we can think about how we would feel if we were in another person’s situation. Knowing how we would feel if the shoe was on the other foot can help temper our responses.
2. You're quick overreact and others have noticed
If someone takes every small comment personally or becomes verbally abusive, this could be a sign of underlying anger.
When people start feeling like we’re emotionally toxic to them and have limited to no compassion for others or our surroundings, it may be time to do some internal review of our thoughts and behaviors.
Instead…
Accept that you won’t be right all the time.
Obviously we know, intellectually, that we cannot always be right. But when we are stuck in long-term anger, it can be hard to not feel this way and react as if we believe we are right or infallible.
Acceptance is realizing that sometimes we don't have all the facts, so we can't have all the answers, and we can't always be right. Acceptance is being okay with that, which leads to finding compassion and humility in ourselves and others.
3. You've been withdrawing from others
When we become angry with everyone and everything, we may start to limit our social interactions to avoid outbursts or situations that might set us off. In addition, we could start feeling ill more regularly.
Anger has negative physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual side effects that can also keep people from enjoying spending time with others, limiting their tolerance levels, and therefore withdrawing from their normal social circle.
Instead…
Seek out someone to talk with about our anger.
This is a good time to locate someone to confide in who will not just dismiss your feelings, coddle you, or over-indulge you in extremes. Find a person (therapist, anger management specialist, close friend, or family member) or group of people who will listen, respond non-judgmentally, and offer positive insight and inspiration.
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When we are angry, especially consistently, it's easy to see things as negative; anger overshadows and overpowers. Finding the light is difficult when we can't see anything but darkness.
But giving ourselves a tangible reminder that there is always light available to us can offer us a simple ray of hope.
A photo, a necklace, a quote, and even a flashlight can provide a physical reminder that our light within exists. When the going gets tough, even someone experiencing long-term can find the way back to their light essence.
Pamela Aloia is a certified feng shui consultant, a certified grief coach, a Reiki master/teacher, and an author helping people become better versions of themselves through individual sessions, energy work, meditation, and more.