Bride Cancels Wedding After Catching Groom Getting Breastfed By His Mom In The Restroom
Wedding podcasters shared a horror story they heard that has left everyone slack-jawed.
Ljupco Smokovski/Shutterstock.com; the.unfiltered.bride/Instagram You may have heard a wedding horror story or two in your time, but we promise you, in all your days, you have never heard one like this.
UK wedding planner Georgie Mitchell and her co-host Beth Smith only launched their podcast four weeks ago, but it's already gone massively viral after a story Mitchell told in a recent episode.
The tale starts off sounding like just a standard story about a wedding being called off, but then it takes a hard left into slack-jawed, WTF territory.
Wedding planner Georgie Mitchell and sidekick Beth Smith host the podcast 'The Unfiltered Bride' about wild wedding stories.
On their most recent episode, Mitchell shared a tale she heard from two colleagues.
Mitchell, a veteran wedding planner, didn't witness the incident herself. But it's apparently so legendary within wedding circles she's now heard it twice from two different makeup artists.
The story involves a bride calling off a wedding just before going down the aisle because of what she caught her groom doing before the ceremony.
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The bride allegedly walked in on her groom getting breastfed — by his mother.
Just from the look on Mitchell's face alone, Smith exclaimed "Oh I'm scared!" before she even began, to which Mitchell replied, "You should be"—and she wasn't lying.
The story goes that the bride quickly ran to the restroom just before going down the aisle, "and what she saw is enough to end a wedding," Mitchell said.
Smith then hazards a few guesses—that she caught her fiancé with another woman, or doing drugs, or "having a wank."
"Worse," Mitchell cagily said to each of Smith's guesses, "worse than anything sexual."
The bride saw her husband-to-be being breastfed by his mother in the wedding venue bathroom.
"He was being breastfed by his mum," Mitchell said, as Smith's entire psyche collapsed in an instant. After a long pause, she simply replied, "Sorry, what?"
She then asked, "Why would you marry a man who was getting bitty," a reference to very NSFW sketches on the UK TV show "Little Britain" in which a grown man has an obsession with being breastfed by his mother.
In a longer clip from the podcast, Smith theorized that the groom was going for "one last" meal with his mum before the wedding.
The bride immediately called off the wedding, even though the venue was already full of her wedding guests.
Because, you know, *of course she did* What else was she supposed to do?! Just shrug off the fact that she *just saw her husband-to-be suckling at his mother's bosom* and go on with the ceremony?!
Imagine just, like, going along with the plan, saying your vows and cutting the wedding cake and doing the hokey-pokey with that knowledge, not to mention mental image, running through your head.
Asked if she'd have done the same if she were in the bride's shoes, Smith could only burst out laughing.
"You definitely wouldn't kiss when they tell you to kiss the groom!" Mitchell quipped about where the groom's mouth had just been, which I hadn't even thought about until she said it and now I wish I could rewind time and un-think it.
The story has been circulating for a while, and previously appeared on the podcast 'The Receipts' in 2019.
"The Receipts" is a Spotify podcast, also from the UK, hosted by Tolani Shoneye, Milena Sanchez and Audrey Indome who bill themselves as being "willing to talk about anything and everything."
Their episodes sometimes feature listener-submitted problems they try to solve, and a 2019 episode evocatively titled "I Caught My Man Sucking Breast" featured the same story.
The version they told, was submitted by a woman claiming to be the bride in question, differs slightly from Mitchell and Smith's.
The incident actually happened the night before the wedding, and even worse, it was a destination wedding in Spain, so everyone had flown in from other countries for the festivities.
Somehow, the bride was unclear as to whether she did the right thing by calling off the wedding because he was the man of her dreams prior to, you know, *catching him breastfeeding from his mother.*
Shoneye, Sanchez, and Indome were not at all unclear, with one of the cohosts saying, "there is no way I am marrying a man who's sucking on his mum's t-t!"
Yeah, that seems like a reasonable standard to which to hold a future spouse!
Obviously, commenters on TikTok and Instagram were shocked, horrified, reviled, and delighted, all at the same time by this tale.
"This level of trauma I cant recover from!" one Instagram user wrote, while a TikToker couldn't help but laugh, commenting, "this is amazing."
"I am never getting over this I am SHOOK!!!" another person commented, while another simply said, "there are no words."
Hopefully, this bride and groom have since found happiness. And if nothing else, they've given us all a gift—no matter how bad a wedding gets, it will never, ever go as badly as this one.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.