7 Rare Signs You Have Incredible People Skills
Your social awareness makes you incredibly magnetic to others.
Jacob Lund / Shutterstock Developing interpersonal skills is difficult, but not impossible.
It's a huge universe. An individual doesn't really matter all that much on a cosmic scale; however, we're all at the center of our own universes. We're constantly thinking about our own selves, our own lives.
And that's why developing people skills is tricky. It requires us to consider that other people exist, too. It requires us to think beyond our own egos. And it means realizing that while others may not be at the center of our universe, they are at the center of their own.
Here are 7 rare signs of incredible people skills
1.1. You follow unstated yet obvious social rules
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For example, at concerts, when you are standing and watching a performance, things can get pretty crowded. Perhaps a person behind you tries to worm their way in front of you.
You may not be annoyed by it, but maybe another concert-goer confronts them, saying, "You do realize that that's wrong, right? I mean, if everyone starts doing it, there'll be a ruckus."
It seems pretty obvious. Of course, there's no rule on the concert ticket saying that you cannot get ahead of others. But it's understandable. The person standing in front of you at a concert has earned the right to do so by getting there before you.
Trying to worm your way in and get ahead when everyone wants that just conveys that you think you're above others. That's not nice. And that should be understandable.
If you understand such unstated social rules, you have amazing people skills.
2.2. You don't force your opinions onto others
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This quality often becomes relevant with topics like religion. Maybe you aren't religious, but you have a friend who is. You respect their beliefs, but they don't respect yours.
Every once in a while, the topic of religion inevitably sneaks into your conversations. Slowly, they start forcing their opinions on you. Maybe they even become angry that you don't share the same beliefs, or insult you by saying they pity you.
It's very off-putting, as we all retain the fundamental right to have our own opinions. Right or wrong is secondary, and forcing your opinion onto others is a sign of low social intelligence.
If you don't do that — if you genuinely respect people's opinions, especially if they're the exact opposite of yours — it's a sign of great people skills.
3.3. You're okay with lending your things to others, even if they are expensive or delicate
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Some people are too hesitant to lend their stuff out. Even if they do so, they don't do it wholeheartedly. You can sense the friction, and that's kind of unpleasant because it sends a message that this "thing" is more important than another human — many times, a friend.
On the other hand, there are people who are generous with lending their things. Perhaps you have a friend who owns an expensive bike, but never says no if someone wants to use it.
Why? They may say something like, "I used to have an instinct to not lend it because the bike is expensive and I felt this need to protect it. But I fought that instinct. Now, I believe that the worst that will happen is I'll have to pay some extra money for maintenance — and that's okay, I guess. Humans must always be more important than things."
Of course, you shouldn't share your personal and private stuff if it's sentimental to you. But if you don't hesitate while lending your other stuff to people, you have incredible social skills.
4.4. You aren't distracted by technology
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This one may seem obvious, but it's not.
We're so used to being on our tech all the time that we don't find it wrong to do it, even with people around. We don't hesitate to use our phones even if we're meeting a friend for coffee or are out at a nice dinner with our family.
But some people realize the importance of this, especially those with incredible people skills.
If they have people around, they give their 100% attention to the person in front. They don't make others fight for their attention. They keep their phone down and immerse themselves in the conversation.
5.5. You're punctual
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We all have a friend that we make plans with, meeting at a usual spot. Perhaps it's even become a ritual over the years.
Whenever you each leave your homes to meet, you give an estimated time of arrival every single time, right? This is because you both respect each other's time a lot, and don't think that you have the right to waste someone else's time.
Unfortunately, there are people who are habitually late, whether it's to a meet-up with a friend, a family event, or even to their 9-to-5 job. Whether they realize it or not, they are causing a huge inconvenience, and aren't considerate of the time of others.
Of course, there will be times where either you or your friend are late, because life is imperfect and things happen. But even then, you apologize because you believe in punctuality.
6.6. You offer to pay the bill
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People try to hide who they are, but they can't. Your actions reveal your character sooner or later. One place this is highly apparent is when it comes to paying the bill when you're with a bunch of people.
Certain people always try to get out of paying the bill. They don't think others notice it, but they do. People aren't dense, even if someone thinks they are.
On the other hand, there are people who seek out the opportunity to pay the bill, almost always offering. Of course, we're talking about small bills here. If the bill is huge, you're going to split it — there's no doubt about it.
But the lack of friction when it comes to opening your wallets in social situations is a sign of people skills.
7.7. You know when not to have difficult conversations
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Every once in a while, we need to have difficult conversations with the people around us. Mostly, it's someone we're close to. But some people don't understand that timing matters a lot in such situations.
If you confront someone on a day when they're already irritated due to some reason — like a bad day at their job, or they haven't had a chance to eat something for a long time — you're doing it wrong.
Socially intelligent people understand the importance of timing when it comes to difficult conversations. They make sure that the person they have to confront is in the right mind space to absorb their confrontation.
Akshad Singi, M.D. is a writer whose work has been published in Better Humans, Mind Cafe, Medium, and more.