Man Makes Pregnant Wife Cry By Calling Her 'Less Of A Person' After She Refuses To Cut Contact With Her Dad
He refuses to have his father-in-law involved in their lives.
Amina Filkins / Pexels "This all boils down to my wife's father," a man began a confessional posted to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA).
The subreddit is an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them.
In his Reddit post, he wrote that his wife's father had been extremely rude to his six-year-old son, which he had from a previous relationship, and therefore wanted nothing to do with his father-in-law, but ultimately got angry when his wife refused to follow his lead.
He made his pregnant wife cry by telling her she's 'less of a person' after she refused to cut contact with her dad.
He explained that he met his wife and her father at the same time due to all of them working at the same company together, though her father worked in a higher role than the two of them.
"My wife knew I had a son, but I said I wouldn't introduce them unless we became a serious couple, because that wouldn't be fair to him."
When he eventually introduced his son and wife, they immediately got along well, though the same could not be said for her father.
"I invited her and her father over for dinner one night, and her father met my son for the first time. He was weird and awkward around my son and made strange comments about his appearance (his mom is black)."
When he confronted his wife's father, he offered up some 'pathetic excuses' for his racist behavior.
"After that, I asked him to not contact me outside of work matters and asked her for space."
Several days after that incident, his wife contacted him to let him know she had cut ties with her father because she didn't share his same "beliefs."
Their relationship flourished, and they eventually got engaged and then married, each of them transferring out of the company they worked at with her father.
Now, his wife is pregnant and is a month shy of giving birth.
During her maternity leave, she has been searching for a new job since she no longer wants to stay with her current company.
While the job search didn't spur any bouts of concern for him, he was taken aback when his wife sat him down to tell him some news.
She told her husband that she was in contact with her dad once more, and he was helping her get a new job.
After telling him that she needed to speak with him, his wife dropped the bomb that her father had gotten her a job interview at their old company, which he still works for.
"She also told me she has been talking to him for a couple [of] months and wants to know how I would feel about him knowing our future child."
He wasn't very accepting of his wife's news, telling her that not only did he feel "betrayed" but that she was also betraying his son by speaking to her racist dad again.
"I told her that she would even ask me that makes her less of a person in my eyes. She started crying and asked me what kind of insensitive jerk would call the woman pregnant with his kid less of a person."
While he acknowledged that the words he used might've been "harsh," he felt she deserved to hear it considering what he said hurt him just as much.
"After cooling off, I'm now unsure if my word choice was warranted and wondering if I was an a-hole for speaking to her that way while she is pregnant and more emotionally vulnerable."
He pointed out that he could've expressed his discomfort for his wife wanting her father in their baby's life in a better way "without insulting her character."
Most people who commented on his Reddit post agreed that he was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"Your right that your words were harsh. But harsh was appropriate. It takes a lesser person to want to invite toxicity into the home, and that's what your wife did," one user wrote.
"She is the one who needs to apologize for even the suggestion of her father coming back into your personal lives."
Another user added, "If your [father-in-law] came to you both and said he has done the work and realized he was wrong and shown that he meant it, that would be a completely different conversation."
"But that isn’t what happened, your wife is willing to tolerate a racist."
A third user chimed in, "your wife’s father thinks of your son as less than a person. Your wording was harsh but your wife did go back on her word."
"Now you’re in a lose-lose situation where your oldest will either be exposed to racists or excluded from the extended family while your other child will be included but also exposed to racists."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.