Psychiatrist Dad-Of-7 Reveals Why He Doesn't Get His Kids Up, Make Breakfast Or Help Them Get Ready For School
He charges them for rides if they miss the bus.
TikTok As time goes on, parents find new ways of doing things in the hopes of raising happy, responsible, well-adjusted adults.
One father of seven recently raised eyebrows when he shared his progressive way of teaching his young children responsibility and discipline.
Richard Wadsworth, a psychiatrist, recently posted a TikTok video detailing his very unique style of rearing his kids.
The video starts with several of Wadsworth’s children telling him goodbye as they left out the front door, presumably headed to school.
The father tells us everything he refuses to do for his children.
Next, the doctor appears on the screen and starts going down a laundry list of things he does not do for his little ones.
“I did not wake them up. I did not get their breakfast ready for them. I did not get them dressed. I did not do their laundry. I did not say a single word about anything that they needed to do in the morning,” Wadsworth tells viewers.
“I did not tell them to do their homework last night. I did not yell at them that they were going to miss the bus. I did not find their shoes for them.”
Wadsworth continues to detail how he doesn’t need to watch the clock to make sure his children get to school on time.
He then poses the rhetorical question of whether or not his decision to make his kids accountable for themselves means he’s a terrible parent.
The doctor talks about the attributes of what society believes a "good parent" is: waking kids, feeding them, keeping time on their behalf, and so on.
He used to be a traditionally ‘good parent’ until he found a better way.
Wadsworth admits he used to be a hands-on parent, responsible for every little aspect of his kids’ lives.
With seven kids in his home, it’s easy to understand how that would not be sustainable.
He explains that his prior style of parenting wasn’t working for his children or for him.
According to Wadsworth, “The hardest part of parenting is not rescuing your kids constantly.”
He tells people watching that if we never allow our kids to take accountability for their own lives, they will lack responsibility throughout life.
His kids are autonomous and understand that they are in the driver’s seat of their own lives.
Like most parents, Wadsworth was stressed out when he had to provide for his children, take care of their moment-to-moment needs, and make time to take care of himself as well.
He has taught his kids to have the mindset that their success is an inside job, but there are occasions when they will come to him with a problem such as a lack of clean clothing.
Instead of jumping up and helping them find something to wear, the doctor turns the situation into a teachable moment, asking, “Well, why haven’t you been doing your laundry?”
This reminds them that they are the sole person they should look to when something within their wheelhouse has been overlooked.
Wadsworth also says that if his children happen to miss the bus in the morning, it will cost them money to get a ride to school.
To get that money, they would need to take on additional chores.
'You’re not doing your kids favors by preventing them from experiencing natural consequences.'
As the video nears its end, the good doctor admonishes parents about protecting their children from the repercussions of their actions and behavior.
He clarifies that we should acknowledge and support our kids when something happens to them, but if their angst is caused by their own inactions or failures, “keep the ball in their court.”
Wadsworth admits that parenting is hard and tells us not to try to take on all of the responsibility.
Doing so will result in older kids that have no discipline or sense of obligation to themselves.
Eventually, kids will grow into adults and if they have not been taught differently, will still be irresponsible.
He closes with, “Your kids are much smarter and more capable than you think they are. It’s just that they think these things are your responsibility, so they don’t worry about them.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and author of seven books. She covers lifestyle and entertainment and news, as well as navigating the workplace and social issues.