Woman Horrified That Man She Went On Two Dates With Has 3 Kids All By Different Moms & Waited To Tell Her
She's wondering if it's a red flag.
Shutterstock If you ask for potential red flags to look out for during the first few dates, you’ll get a lot of mixed answers.
A date who informs you that he has three children, all of who have three different mothers, may be enough for some people to think twice about a future relationship.
One woman is seeking advice after learning that a man she has been on two dates with has multiple children from multiple mothers.
Sharing her story to the UK-based parenting forum, Mumsnet, the woman asked other users how she should proceed with her potential new love interest in light of the news.
She begins her post by revealing that she has been on two dates with a new 36-year-old man in her life.
During their second date, the man delivered some shocking news. “He has dropped a bit of a bombshell and I am not sure how to proceed,” the woman wrote.
The woman’s date apparently has three children who each have different mothers. The kids' ages are 12, 10, and six.
While the man claims to have good relationships with all three of his children, the woman cannot help but be curious about what happened between the man and his baby mommas.
“I did not press him about why the relationships he had with the kids’ mums didn't work out,” she wrote. “I am now wondering what has gone on with his prior relationships.”
She also is pondering on whether the children were planned or not.
The woman admits that this new revelation has her reconsidering pursuing the man seriously.
“I thought there was potential after the first date but not I am not sure,” she wrote. “It's put me off him a bit honestly.”
Other forum users offered the woman their two cents.
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Some users believed the man’s situation to be concerning.
“Huge red flag for me, especially with two so close together. It doesn't exactly suggest he's responsible or a good long-term bet does it?” one user pointed out.
“It would be a no for me. Even if there was a legitimate reason why he keeps having children, the sheer logistics of his life aside from anything else would be a nightmare to negotiate,” another user shared.
“Massive red flag for me. Do you want your own children? It’d be really challenging logistically since he already has so many,” another user commented.
However, others suggested that she give the man a chance if he appears to be a good father, yet still proceed with caution.
“If you like him take it slowly, if he sees each of his kids several times a week and he's not a deadbeat dad then great,” one user wrote. “Definitely don't let him move in and always insist on condoms.”
“I agree that it sounds like a red flag but it might not be. I think it depends on what has happened in each of his relationships. There's nothing wrong with me, it's just the way my life worked out,” another user revealed.
“I'd want to know the full story before condemning him,” another user recommended. “If there was an equivalent mum wanting to date we'd say go for it and condemn a man for criticizing her.”
Whether or not the woman decides to take her relationship with the man further is completely up to her.
However, before she does she may have to consider the possibility of being baby momma number four.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.