Woman Wants To Kick Out Her Part-Time Worker Husband After He Refuses To Help Out Around The House
She's fed up with his lack of support.
Elina Fairytale and August De Richelieu / Pexels. A frustrated wife and mother went onto the online forum mumsnet to air her grievances surrounding her husband.
Posting under the username pattyf80, she took to the thread entitled Am I Being Unreasonable, to ask whether she was in the wrong for wanting to kick her husband out of the family home.
As context, she explained that she is the main provider for the household, working in software/IT.
“I’m full-time and don’t have time to pick up my three kids from school/nursery,” she wrote.
Her husband is a part-time ancillary worker at a hospital, a job she explains doesn’t offer a “great salary, but we’re alright on money.”
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She threatened to kick her husband out of the house 'after he repeatedly refused to clean up after himself, do dishes [or] laundry.'
She further explained that when she’s asked her husband to help out around the house, he says “he’s too busy at work or with [his] DIY [projects].”
“It's becoming extremely stressful and I lost it yesterday and told him to pack it up or he'll have to leave,” the woman wrote. “I feel bad, but I'm really too stressed.”
Most users agreed that her husband wasn’t carrying his weight in the household.
“Part-time worker should pick up more of household duties,” wrote one commenter.
The original poster offered more context, stating that her husband wasn’t “providing much for the household, and hasn’t stepped up and helped out. I’m extremely stressed at work and anxiety isn’t making it any better, yet he’s been unsympathetic and hasn’t accommodated.”
She went on to say that she’s asked her husband about adjusting his hours and contract to work more, but “he refuses as he says he won’t have enough time for his DIY (making odd things out of wood and scraps).”
She explained that “the only thing he does to help out is pick up the kids, drop them off. No cleaning or anything and he’s home most of the time.”
She clarified that while they’ve been married for five years, they’ve known each other for over 20 years.
“He was the perfect guy, caring and handsome and I'm struggling with this decision. He's been a major part of my life for many years now, it's only in recent months he has been like this,” she wrote.
She ended by saying that if her husband “doesn’t get his act together, unfortunately, we may have to talk about divorce/separation.”
It seems that she’s struggling with a situation common to many mothers, that of carrying the main mental load of the household.
The mental load, also known as cognitive labor, is a term that refers to maintaining the invisible, non-tangible tasks involved in running a household.
A partnership should ideally be equitable, yet equity is what seems to be lacking in this woman’s relationship.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers celebrity gossip, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.