Surrogate Asks If She's Wrong For Refusing To Let Mom Feel Her Stomach Because It Makes Her 'Uncomfortable'
Her refusal has caused a bit of friction.
PR Image Factory | Shutterstock A woman is being defended after refusing to let the family she's a surrogate for touch her pregnant belly.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — the woman explained her stance.
In her Reddit post, the woman, 24, wrote that she's currently six months pregnant as a surrogate for a family.
While everything about the experience has been going well, only one thing has consistently bothered her — having to set boundaries for the family wanting to touch her stomach.
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People touching her pregnancy bump makes her 'uncomfortable.'
"Even when I was pregnant with my daughter I could not stand people touching my stomach," she argued.
"I don’t understand the obsession with people touching pregnant bellies but it bothers me when people try to do it."
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During the months that she has been a surrogate, the family has asked nonstop to touch her stomach so they could feel the baby kicking and moving around.
The wife has also made it clear that "she's always wanted to experience feeling the baby kicking and moving around."
The woman even provided context, writing that the wife of the family she's a surrogate for "can fully have children of her own" but chose not to because being pregnant would've interfered with her career.
"She has a physically demanding job and doesn’t want to risk anything happening to the baby or her career," the woman said, adding that the wife is a personal trainer.
Since she's started showing, both the wife and husband have "been constantly asking" to touch her stomach, and in response, she's "politely declined."
Things suddenly escalated while the woman and wife were at an appointment for the baby.
During the appointment, the wife reached over to try and touch the woman's stomach.
"I kindly asked her to stop touching my stomach and she snapped at me and said I was ruining the experience for her and it’s her baby she should be able to feel her kick."
The woman immediately rebutted, saying that even though she was pregnant with her baby it was still "her body and that if she really wanted to feel her baby kick, she should've gotten pregnant herself."
Since their argument, the woman has been receiving calls from the wife and her husband, calling her an "a-hole" for yelling just because the wife wanted to feel her baby kick.
"My friends and parents are split on whether I’m an [a-hole] or not since it is their baby," she concluded.
Most people who commented on the woman's Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"It is HER body. Not the soon-to-be mom’s body. And maybe the statement about her being pregnant herself is harsh but it is only harsh because it is true," one user wrote.
Another user added, "It’s your body, your rules. Touching you is not bonding with the baby, or for the baby. They can bond when it’s born—and they will. It’s a joyous, exhausting time."
However, other users pointed out that the wife also isn't in the wrong for wanting to feel her baby move.
"There’s nothing wrong with them wanting to experience feeling the baby kick as this is their child. And there’s nothing wrong with you not wanting to be touched," a third user chimed in.
"It’s your body your choice, but it seems dumb to not have realized that the parents would want to feel their baby kick as a way to connect and experience the whole thing."
A fourth user wrote, "They should not be touching you without your permission, I can’t stress that enough."
"But also, I find it to be strange to become a surrogate and know you’re not comfortable with the parents touching your stomach."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.