Jealous Woman Asks Friend To Not Wear Makeup In Front Of Her Boyfriend — 'Why Do You Care So Much Around My Man?'
Her insecurities could potentially damage her close friendship.
Liza Summer / Pexels Most people will do anything for their good friends. Lending a shoulder to cry on? Of course. Picking up fast food in the early hours of the morning just because? Such a fun idea.
But sometimes, there's a line that needs to be drawn, where one friend's insecurity shouldn't come at the expense of the other's. After all, friendships are about give and take, right?
For one woman, she was a bit confused by the request her friend asked her to honor. And now, she's wondering what she should do.
A woman posted a text message conversation where her friend told her not to wear makeup while they hung out that day.
The woman, whose name is Mia, posted a screenshot of a text message on Twitter between her and her friend. In the text exchange, Mia's friend is asking her not to do her makeup because they will all be hanging out — Mia, her friend, and her friend's boyfriend.
Not seeming to understand why her friend would ask Mia not to do her makeup, she asked for an explanation — something that her friend was unwilling to give. The only explanation was that Mia would only be going out with her and her boyfriend, so there was no need to get glammed up.
"Well, it's just gonna be me you and my boyfriend," her friend explained when Mia asked why she had given such an odd request. "You don't need to." After telling her friend she didn't understand, Mia's friend added, "Just don't wear makeup... why do you care so much?"
Mia, likely unconvinced by the reason her friend gave, answered by saying, "Yeah, but I mean, if we're going out I'm probably going to."
However, her friend then responded, "I'm just saying it's weird if you do all that when it's just me and my [boyfriend]."
At this point, people on Twitter began to realize that the problem wasn't with Mia wearing makeup — it was her friend's boyfriend seeing her in the makeup.
Multiple users then weighed in on the situation, prompting Mia to conduct a poll. More people voted for her to "wear makeup and go" over "don't go and block her," though it's unclear how the situation ended up.
Many people called out Mia's friend for being insecure and not wanting her to wear makeup. They theorized that Mia's friend should have a conversation with her boyfriend if it's such an issue, or if she's worried about a potential wandering eye.
Others said that maybe her friend was jealous, with one person claiming "that isn't your friend." Some even pointed out that if her friend felt so insecure about it, perhaps they should only hang out when her boyfriend isn't around, in order to make all parties feel comfortable.
Trying to control others to make yourself feel secure will only drive the people you love away.
By demanding that her friend feel uncomfortable in order to quell her own feelings of insecurity, Mia's friend is just driving her away.
Whether Mia's friend was jealous or insecure, her behavior in the text messages is off-putting, no matter how close of friends they are. Mia not only has the right to feel good about herself when going out, but to set boundaries and not back down to over-the-top requests.
Boundaries should never be about what other people in your life can or cannot do, but about how you respond. Mia may not have set her boundaries outright, but just by telling her friend she was going to wear makeup no matter what did just that.
Mia could have resolved the issue further by having a serious conversation with her friend. According to Andrea Bonior, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor, "The key here is to recognize that it's very easy to come across as judgmental, or jealous even. You have to find a way to talk about it that is going to minimize that defensive response."
An example would be to say something like, "I wanted to talk to you about our text conversation the other day. I feel like you've become very concerned about how I look in front of your boyfriend, and it's making me uncomfortable because [insert reason here]. Is everything alright with you? I care deeply and want to make sure you're okay."
While a true friend would likely try to get to the root of the problem and help their bestie move past their insecurities, rather than think of them as a hater, although that didn't happen in this situation, it's a valuable lesson for all friendships.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.