Woman Asks If She’s Wrong For Canceling $12K Check For Friend’s IVF After Reading Text Friend Sent Mocking Her Infertility
The friend was cruel for what she said.
Samantha Garrote / Shutterstock "My ex-husband and I tried everything to have kids but it just never happened," a woman begins her heartfelt confession to the subreddit 'AITA' (Am I The A-hole), a forum where users ask if they're in the wrong over disagreements that have been bothering them.
"He divorced me, went and married someone younger who was able to give him a kid and from what I gather, they're expecting a 2nd child together. It hurts like hell seeing someone else have what I couldn't."
Her post is not, however, about her ex but instead about a tough decision she came to after her friend's cruel joke.
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After she offered to cover her friend's IVF treatment, her friend mocked her for being infertile.
In her Reddit post, the woman, 35, explained that her friends have played a huge role in helping her overcome the heartbreak after her divorce.
One friend, Alessia, is in the same "infertility boat" since she and her husband are "currently trying IVF."
For Alessia's upcoming IVF treatments, the woman offered to help her pay, writing a $12,000 check that "came with no strings attached."
The next day, she received a text from her friend Carol, with a screenshot of her conversation with Alessia.
"Turns out she and Alessia were talking about the next IVF cycle," she recalled.
"Alessia said she hoped the cycle would work because 'she didn't wanna end up divorced, and having her husband go marry someone younger and have a baby with them and another one on the way! While she's alone and without a family at 35!'"
After seeing the text exchange, and what Alessia had said, the woman was hurt by her friend's harsh words.
Instead of confronting her friend, she contacted the bank and canceled the check.
Afterward, Alessia called her to ask why she had taken back the check — she told her the truth.
Alessia immediately became defensive, telling the woman that she had only meant it as an "inside joke between infertile women."
"She came over with her husband the next day begging I write another check but I refused. An argument ensued and her husband thought I wasn't being supportive of her like when she supported me throughout my struggles."
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Alessia left her house crying, and the two haven't spoken since, despite Alessia's husband reminding her that they need the money by the date of their upcoming IVF cycle.
Some of her other friends think she's being too sensitive about the entire debacle, though her friend, Carol, is on her side.
A majority of people who commented on her Reddit post agreed that she was NTA (Not The A-hole).
"Why should you show her situation empathy (and give her 12k) after she’s shown none to you? What a nasty, hurtful message - it’s not a ‘joke’ because it’s not funny," one user wrote.
Another user chimed in, adding, "An inside joke is inside because it's between the people who started it. She made you the butt of a joke and was cruel."
"This may not just damage your friendship, it may end it. But do you really need friends like that?"
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.