Mom Asks If She's Wrong For Not Paying For Stepdaughter's Cheer Trip After Her Own Daughter Loses Competition
Her husband says she's selfish.
sirtravelalot / Shutterstock A mother took to the Reddit-verse to figure out if she was in the wrong for denying one of her husband’s requests.
He wanted her to spend her savings on his stepdaughter instead of her own.
She shared a post to Reddit's “Am I the A–Hole?” — a popular subreddit where users ask strangers to settle a debate in their lives.
This woman's unique situation shows the complexities of navigating the dynamics of her blended family.
Her husband wants to use her savings to pay for his daughter — but she refuses.
She explained that she is married to a man named Joey, and that they both had daughters from previous relationships.
Her daughter, Hailey, was on a cheerleading team, just like her stepsister, Jenna. Hailey was on a bigger, more competitive team while Jenna's team tended not to perform at as high a level.
She and Joey have always kept finances for the girls separate, "I pay for Hailey and he pays for Jenna.”
Both of their daughters were partaking in a cheer competition where the winners would be awarded a trip to Disney.
Since Joey expected his daughter to lose, he didn't save money in advance.
On the other hand, the woman behind the anonymous post had been saving for months to afford to take Hailey on the trip should the opportunity arise.
However, when Hailey's team lost out on the prize and Jenna's team ended up winning, the couple found themselves at odds.
“Later that night my husband asked me about finances for the Florida trip,” she wrote.
“I explain that since Hailey's team didn’t win I figured [she] and I could go do something instead with the money I saved for Florida”
“My husband thinks I’m being selfish and an AH because Jenna’s team did win and we should use that same money for her to go.”
Joey had already asked Jenna’s mother if she could help, but she was not able.
“I'm going to go with [no a--holes here,” one user commented “because I see both perspectives. Being in a family is to some extent, about a give-and-take situation.”
Another user highlighted the precedent both parents had set even before the situation became a problem.
“Everyone seems to be glossing over the fact that you keep separate finances, AND Joey wasn't planning on paying anything for your daughter if she won.”
In the updated ending of the post, the woman said that she and her husband had gotten into another disagreement. She decided Hailey would be sent to her ex’s house because she “didn’t want Hailey to overhear any of the argument”.
“As of right now my husband has been calling and sending numerous texts calling me the [a--hole] and selfish,” she said.
“I’m currently ignoring it.”
Taylor Haynes is a writer based in Chicago. She writes for Entertainment & News at YourTango. You can find her on Instagram here.