How An Innocent Text From Her Husband Led This Woman To Learn He Had Been Cheating
They were married for 13 years.
mavo / Andrey_Popov / Shutterstock A simple text message from this woman’s husband led her to discover that he had been cheating on her for years.
Sharing her story to HuffPost, the woman revealed how she used some seriously impressive invetigative skills to uncover her husband’s infidelity four years ago.
She noticed a suspicious detail in a text he sent soon learned he was cheating on her while on a trip.
Dr. Samantha Gray told HuffPost that her husband told her he was visiting North Carolina for a work trip back in 2018.
While he was away, Gray received a text from him claiming he was at an amazing church.
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Gray wrote, “He sent me photos of the singers on the stage, noting the name of one of the singers in particular, so I could find her music later.”
At it took was a Google search for Gray to learn that the singer in question was performing at an event in Knoxville, Tennessee — not North Carolina.
After this discovery, Gray was confused about why her husband lied to her but instead of confronting him she decided to look into it further. Through some research, she found video footage of the church service online.
She wrote, “Eventually, I saw my husband standing big as day in a yellow sweater vest I bought him, texting me with one hand, and holding another woman’s hand with the other.”
That was a difficult moment for her as they had been married for 13 years.
‘I became my own private investigator and went on a quiet rampage.'
First, she checked the bills in the mail as her husband always handled their finances.
“These bills provided records of shopping trips, dinner dates and out-of-state concerts,” Gray wrote.
“I also found a Happy Holidays card thanking him for spending Christmas with another woman’s family in Tennessee (instead of his own two children, my step-daughters).”
"That year, he had expressed his disappointment and frustration that he had to work on Christmas, but he attempted to assure me that he was out of state working on our hard-to-remedy financial hardships," Gray explained.
She then went to check his old computer and cell phone where she found numerous texts and emails from other women which started a few years after they got married.
Gray also read her husband’s conversations with as many as 15 women where he talked about his wife’s infertility issues.
Even with all this evidence, Gray had to see her husband cheating in person to face up to the truth.
"I decided to make a few clandestine out-of-state trips of my own to see him cheating with my own eyes because despite everything I had found, I was still in denial."
So, she took a trip to Tennesee when her husband was on one of his "work trips."
She tracked him and found him at a dog park with one of his mistresses. After witnessing this, there was no room for any doubt.
Gray couldn't stay married to him anymore and decided to leave him. Her husband was shocked but didn't admit to any of his wrongdoings.
She learned he had even fathered a child with someone else.
When they were in the process of finalizing their divorce, Gray found out that her husband had a baby with the last woman he was seeing.
Gray had been changing her health insurance policy and saw that the baby's name had been added to her plan by mistake.
"My husband and I had been actively trying to get pregnant," she writes. "During grad school, I created a list of gender-neutral names I wanted to use for a girl. My ex-husband took my top name and gave it to his son."
While she felt fortunate to not have such a man in her life anymore, Gray says the affairs have left her with trauma.
She wrote, "In the months after my discovery and our split, I felt disgusted. My weight fluctuated. I had constant headaches. I continually wanted to cry but was too exhausted and dehydrated."
She also mentioned that she developed some trust issues because of her experience, however, she is in a good relationship now.
Gray also felt that some of her trauma might be because her ex-husband died not long ago.
"There are days when I wish I had told him that I knew everything he had done to me ― I’m still not sure he knew I was aware of the extent of his deception," she wrote.
"Other days I feel empathy for him and the pain I know he experienced at the end of his life."
However, even after that, she is learning to leave the past in the past and move forward in life.
Sanika Nalgirkar is a News & Entertainment Writer based in Seattle. She has a master's degree in Creative Writing. See more of her writing on her website.