When Listening To Your Gut Feeling Isn't An Option

By Shyanne Kollefrath

We can’t always listen to our gut feelings.

I know it sounds crazy because we’re constantly told that our gut is right.

It might be true, but it’s not always possible to follow that instinct.

I recently went back to work after a 16-week maternity leave.

Every day on my way home from work, I get a gut feeling that something is off and I need to quit my job.

RELATED: Why Having Postnatal Depression Actually Made Me A Better Mom

Since I’m diagnosed with postpartum depression and anxiety, I know there are more complex issues than I realize.

I know that to be true since the anxiety levels I experience in those moments are so much deeper than any I have ever had before.

I can’t quite put my finger on the cause behind this gut feeling that I need to stay home with my daughter.

I know that if anything happened to her while I was away at work, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself, but it doesn’t seem to be the reason. But the feeling is still there.

I know that leaving her with a sitter definitely isn’t the issue.

The short periods that my daughter spends with the sitter don’t cause me anxiety. It is only when I am coming home from my job that it starts to act up.

RELATED: 5 Natural Instincts You Should Never Ignore, No Matter What

I love my job. It provides a lot of great benefits and a paycheck that is necessary to stay afloat financially with my husband.

My husband and I both work hard and have a decent financial situation considering the economy.

But if one of us were to stop working, we would not be able to make it financially.

Becoming a work-from-home mom is not an option because it would require a stable internet connection, which I do not have. And it’s hard to change it.

So I am stuck with a gut feeling I cannot act upon. It drives me crazy.

RELATED: What It Really Means To Trust Your Intuition (And Why You Should Do It)

Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a solution to my problem.

I will continue to look for one every day, but until then, this feeling will continue to loom over my head like a gray rain cloud.

Could this be my postpartum anxiety? Absolutely.

Could this be my everyday anxiety? The answer, again, is yes.

This gut feeling just hasn’t been one I can shake, and only time will tell if it’s right or wrong.

I just hope my child stays safe through it.

Experiencing a gut feeling you can’t act upon is something I don’t wish upon anyone.

However, if it happens to you, just know you aren’t alone.

RELATED: If You Want To Trust Your Gut More, You Need To Do These 5 Things

Shyanne Kollefrath is a writer who focuses on relationships, health and wellness, and parenting topics. Visit her author profile on Unwritten for more.