Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Keeping Dead Sister's Paintings In The House After Marrying Her Widower
Seems like a messy situation.
Pixel-Shot / Shutterstock A woman took to Reddit's 'Am I the A-hole' thread to find out whether keeping her dead sister's paintings in the house is defendable — all after also marrying her dead sister's husband. This woman wrote that she wanted to display her late sister’s paintings in her house.
However, her husband refused because the paintings triggered him as he used to be married to her sister.
According to the woman's post, she previously displayed her sister's paintings at her own apartment before marrying that sister's husband and moving in with him.
“I really liked the 3 paintings and displayed them in my apartment proudly before getting together with Adam as I felt closer to my sister but once we became a thing the painting seemed to upset him so I kept them in storage instead,” she writes.
The woman claims that her husband's previous relationship with her sister has prevented her from remembering her sister.
“We have no pictures of her at our house or any memento left by her," she writes. "All this time I've been understanding but I feel like I've completely erased her from my life.”
The woman further wrote how she wanted to display the paintings to keep her sister's memory alive and felt that her husband wasn’t considerate of her feelings.
She feels she should receive consideration from him since she has shown him consideration all these years, though she claims to "understand everyone grieves differently and for Adam anything associated with her triggers him and he goes back to that awful day when he found out she was gone."
The discussion of the painting even led to an argument.
The woman noticed that since her husband still feels triggered, he might need counseling.
“It worsened when I suggested grief counseling together today which made him even more upset … he said he already went through grief counseling and my insistence is just opening old wounds.”
The argument went further with the woman questioning their marriage.
“I was angry at the time and told him why did he ever consider marrying me when the thought of her makes him this upset.”
After that, the husband left and the woman was left alone in thoughts. She then questioned whether she went too far, prompting her to post about it online.
The fact that the woman married her late sister’s husband was more intriguing to internet users.
There were a few comments about the painting.
“If after all this time he can't even stand to see a painting, then his grief counseling was not a success," one Reddit user wrote. "After 12 years you should be allowed to remember her with a single memento.”
Many of the comments suggested counseling as well.
“His coping mechanisms are perfectly valid and I think something others would do," suggested one person. "He doesn’t want to see the reminders of his late wife … This might be more of a couples counseling issue than grief counseling.”
However, there were also many comments criticizing her for marrying her late sister’s husband. “The painting is the least of your worries," someone wrote. "You married your Sisters widow - That's not normal. Y'all need therapy.”
Another user commented, “You married your late sister's husband? That's just wrong. Did he marry you because you look like your sister?”
The woman posted an update on the situation.
Later, the woman wrote in a post that her husband and she had a conversation and were able to understand each other’s points of view.
They were able to come to a common ground and decided that both of them need counseling.
“I'm glad we were able to come to a resolution and have started our process to heal,” she writes.
She also acknowledged people’s comments on why she married her sister’s husband but refused to comment on it.
“Just want to say I won't be answering any more comments about why I married Adam … I don't want to judged for loving him anymore and am choosing to ignore it for both our benefit.”
Sanika Nalgirkar, M.F.A. is a writer and an Editorial Intern at YourTango who writes on entertainment & news, lifestyle, and pop culture topics.