Boyfriend’s Angry Reaction To Girlfriend Starting OnlyFans Has Divided The Internet
Is he controlling or justified?
TikTok There’s an age-old debate surrounding people in relationships participating in sex work and what that means to all parties involved — is it an open relationship? Is the partner OK with that?
Should there be a conversation about it?
A conversation isn’t exactly what one would call TikTok user @kevindoolyrah’s reaction to his girlfriend asking him if she could participate in “stripping” and “OnlyFans.”
But the video has stirred quite the debate around one central question:
Is it wrong to dump your partner for having an OnlyFans?
Since its inception in 2015, OnlyFans has solidified itself as the leading platform for sex workers to be able to publish their own content and make money from what they produce. They have complete ownership and make money through various forms of services — whether it be a subscription fee or tipping or just putting a price tag on a post.
Although the website isn’t strictly for NSFW (Not Safe For Work) purposes, there is a generalization that comes with the idea of creating an OnlyFans means you’re entering sex work.
When @kevindoolyrah’s girlfriend decided she wanted to get into OnlyFans and stripping, his friend, @tevinstokes, filmed his breakdown while he was on the phone arguing with his girlfriend.
“I can talk to every b---- I want to, but a relationship brings exclusivity!” yelled Doolyrah who was being recorded by Stokes on the floor above him.
The original video has nearly three million views on TikTok and has over 20 thousand comments, all debating their opinions on the matter and criticizing Doolyrah’s behavior.
TikTok users saw both sides of the argument.
“As a sex worker myself, people have the right to NOT want to be with me. They’re not insecure for having different boundaries than mine,” read one of the comments that were a common opinion in the debate.
“Don’t understand how some people see this as insecure and controlling. Not wanting random strangers looking at your partner’s body is having boundaries,” said another user.
Some people argued that the reaction coming from the boyfriend is controlling, rooted in insecurity, and is downright childish since he’s yelling so loudly at his girlfriend.
“So men can sexualize women all they want but when it’s their gf who wants to use that to make money it’s a problem? Got it.” said one user who is on the girlfriend’s side.
The woman's boyfriend elaborated on why her OnlyFans bothered him.
Doolyrah saw the controversy and was embarrassed that how he behaved was shown to many other people, so he decided to go onto his own TikTok account and explain the situation.
“She wanted to try stripping and OnlyFans, and I’m like ‘ok cool, do what you want to do, that’s your body,’” he said. “There’s a limit to my comfortability with it though, so you know, I’m asking questions, I’m trying to figure out what I’m about to get myself into.”
This is what a lot of people were already assuming about his behavior — that the girlfriend has every right to do what she wants but that the boyfriend also has every right to uphold the boundaries he has for the relationship.
“The questions are valid! As a [sex worker] when I date anyone it is one of the first things brought up, because I know some are good with it and some aren’t,” read one of the comments.
However, things seemed to turn south and take a nosedive when the girlfriend tried to play the victim and claim that Doolyrah was slut-shaming her — causing them to stop talking for a few days before the girlfriend decided to break up with him.
Her reasoning was that she didn’t think he really cared about her, but other people seem to think that she wanted a reason to break up with him the entire time.
“She might’ve been trying to find an excuse to leave so she can play victim,” said one user.
“Just another form of gaslighting bro. She is trying to make you question YOUR boundaries. NEVER waiver on your boundaries. Especially if you have few,” said another.
According to Doolyrah’s story and the reactions of the comments, the girlfriend is in the wrong for stepping away, playing the victim, and trying to get the boyfriend to back down from the boundaries he was trying to set.
It sounded like he was pro sex work, so it all came down to a difference of relationship expectations.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.