Why Being Comfortable Doesn't Mean The End Of Your Relationship
Comfortable relationships redefine romance when they need to.
Andrey Yurlov / Shutterstock By Shyanne Kollefrath
When you first start dating someone, you never know where the relationship will take you. One of two things always happen: you stay together or you break up.
When you stay together there comes a point in the relationship where you’re so comfortable with your partner that you begin feeling stuck in your relationship. This point of “comfort” could take a few weeks or a few years.
At some point, though, you realize that you do not need to impress your partner anymore. You’re enough just by being you.
A lot of people get to this stage of a relationship and run. Runners like these believe that comfort is the end of romance.
I, personally, believe that statement couldn’t be further from the truth.
I have been with my significant other for over 3 years now and we hit our “comfort” point years ago. While our sex drives have calmed down a lot throughout the years, that doesn’t mean our relationship has hit a dead-end.
Recently, we spent the weekend on a romantic getaway. I mean, what’s more, romantic than chocolate-covered cherries and a hot tub? I surely can’t think of anything to top that one.
While everyone’s idea of romance is different, comfort should not be something that scares people.
Here are several reasons why comfort is not the dead-end of a relationship:
You know what your partner wants
Your partner knows how to please you, in and out of bed. They know what you consider “romantic” and what you don’t consider romantic at all.
They know if you like sunset walks on the beach and rose petals leading to the bed, whereas a new partner is always trying to figure out what romance means to you. A new S.O. is always slightly awkward.
Redefining your romance
Comfortable relationships redefine romance when they need to. Personally, my view of romance has never included a hot tub until recently. Before, some quality attention and a foot massage would count for me as romance.
Doing the same thing over and over isn’t romantic, it’s routine. Knowing when it is time to change things up is what makes romantic memories.
Making time for each other
A lot of the time, couples who become comfortable in their relationship split up because one or both parties forget to make time for each other.
Anything can be romantic as long as you are spending quality alone time with each other. Having independent lives from each other is really nice, but you have to make sure you spend time with your significant other or the romance will just not be there.
The biggest problem I see in youth today is that we need to stop confusing romance with trying. If your significant other is not trying to see you, please you, or putting an effort into your relationship, maybe it is time to leave.
But as long as the person is making an effort to be romantic, maybe it just takes some redefining and alone time to spark the romance again.
The important part of a relationship is knowing that it will change over time. It’s important to maintain your relationship in a healthy manner and spend time evaluating your relationship.
Express your concerns and feelings with your significant other and stop running when your relationship becomes comfortable because, honestly, once you become comfortable, the best has yet to come.
Shyanne Kollefrath is a writer who focuses on relationships, health and wellness, and parenting topics. Visit her author profile on Unwritten for more.