6 Ways To Talk Yourself Out Of Giving Up On Your Dreams
There's a band that connects you to your past. It's time to cut it.
Getty Have you ever wondered why you get an idea to change an area of your life and feel all fired up only to find yourself quickly discouraged and unmotivated?
You start out so full of good intention but slowly find yourself making excuses like “I’m too busy and don’t really have the time” or “I don’t know enough and need to learn more”.
Why do we get stuck in this exhausting pattern of making excuses and giving up?
We all have a set comfort zone that strangely if you stay in it too long, starts to feel uncomfortable. As you move towards the edge of that comfort zone, it is like having an elastic band around you.
You have another elastic band around you connecting you to your up-leveled life and self.
The problem is, once you get to the edge that elastic band holding you to the old, your subconscious may want to pull you back to "safety". After all, you know how to do that life. You understand that way of being and seeing yourself very well.
The excuses happen because you do not yet know how to be or do the new "you" that you aspire to be.
The old stories and beliefs from the unconscious are fueling your subconscious and you are hearing the language of this in your head: You are not good enough, you do not have what it takes, or you do not have the time, knowledge or resources and on and on it goes.
Here are 6 steps to help you stop making excuses.
1. Recognize these excuses as non-truths.
The fact that you had the desire to create change proves that part of you that knows you have it in you to create and make happen. It is the guidance from your power and potential, your super-conscious.
So, what to do?
Many believe another false truth: That to move forwards they need to heal something, as if they are somehow broken and need fixing.
This is an avoidance tactic.
Yes there are times to seek support to change, however that does not mean that you are not broken; you are perfectly capable to step up and into your aspiration. If not, you would not have aspired to the change you so deeply desire.
2. Get out of the passenger seat and get back behind the wheel of your own life.
Place your fears, doubts, and insecurities in the passenger seat and treat them as though they are an annoying passenger who will not shut up.
Drive toward your goals no matter what these excuses and insecurities say. Decide to listen to another voice, a more powerful voice. The voice that whispered from deep within calling you to go for it.
The truth-teller inside of yourself has been undernourished for most of your life because you have been believing in your unconscious stories, excuses and beliefs.
3. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable for a while.
Fear of change is your friend that may be telling you that you are heading in the right direction. That you are going to have to grow and let go of old patterns and behaviours that growth is less uncomfortable than staying stagnant.
As you uncover your old unconscious beliefs and stories, they become weaker and weaker and the new becomes stronger. The elastic band to the old breaks.
But it might take a little time, so get comfortable with your discomfort.
4. Keep your word to yourself.
Moving beyond the comfort zone also requires you to align to the fact that your word is your bond. If you say you are going to do something, you do it. Push your excuses aside.
Breaking your word to yourself is what drains you of energy and feeds the false beliefs. “I told you that you are not good enough” or “You are not worthy” and the rest of it.
You may have to lean in and push yourself to do what it is that is needed, the reward is, you get energized and you feel good about yourself for moving.
Keeping your word is power-full.
5. Ask yourself “is this getting me the outcome I seek?”
Remember to create change you need to change. You need to become the next up-leveled version of yourself.
Think in a way that is aligned to your outcome, feel in a way that is aligned to your outcome, act in a way that is aligned to your outcome.
On your new playing field, life will bring you the people and circumstances to help you become the person you need to be in order to have what you desire.
6. Shift your language.
You cannot afford to use old language such as “it’s not meant to be.”
Instead, you need to ask, “what am I being asked to learn here and how would my up leveled self-respond?”
Another great question is, “how is this leading me to my end result?” You will know by your response: proactive or reactive. Reactive is acting out something old, so shift your language to the proactive.
Witness yourself becoming reactive and choose to do it differently. Do not consciously choose to feed the false.
There will be moments to look up to the top of the mountain (your desired result) and there will be times that this is way too daunting. When it is too daunting simply look just in front of you. One step and then another. I call this being in first gear. You will not travel in fifth gear all the time, sometimes first, second, third or fourth. First gear is still movement.
I have taken on board a statement that I heard Mel Robbins use and I love it:
When the excuses enter my mind (for example, "I am too tired"), I go, "5,4,3,2,1" and lift off. I get up and do what needs to be done.
Once completed I am more energized and feeling good about myself for having taken action.
So, lean in, take responsibility for your life, get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable at times and feel comforted in the knowledge that fear is your friend cheering you on as you head in the right direction.
The old elastic band will eventually break if you keep moving.
Your old beliefs and stories are not your truth — so do not fuel them anymore.
Life is bringing you everything that you need to be successful, even if you cannot see it at the time. You are growing into the next version of who you need to be to have what you desire. You will eventually find yourself ready to do it all over again.
Enjoy the journey — you've got this!
Kaye Doran is a Women's Leadership and Life Coach and Shamanic Healer working with women for over three decades, helping them get past their comfort zone and back into the drivers' seat of their life. Connect with Kaye by visiting her website where you can also access a free workshop and meditations or find her on Inner Expressions Facebook page