16 Signs Someone Is Jealous Of You — And What To Do About It
Are they too toxic to be your friend?
aloha hawaii / Shutterstock Jealousy is a complex emotion that we've all experienced at some point in our lives (whether we'd like to admit it or not), but sometimes the signs someone is jealous of you are easy to miss.
While it's not fair to demonize a person for experiencing a normal emotion like jealousy, there's a fine line between what's acceptable and what's problematic.
It's interesting to note that many successful individuals have spoken out about the impact jealousy's had on their relationships. Affluent entrepreneurs reveal the more they progress with their lives, the more it feels like they lose friends along the way.
Here are 16 signs someone is jealous of you.
1. They're extremely insecure.
Jealousy is linked to insecurity. When people have low-self esteem, they perceive everyone else's success as a threat. Or, because they feel they're not good enough, they may try to knock others down in order to build themselves up.
2. They diminish your achievements and accomplishments.
Anything you do well is written off.
Someone who's jealous will never congratulate you. Rather, they'll try their hardest to dismiss your success by either telling you it's not a big deal or that they or someone else has already done it (and more successfully, at that).
3. They belittle you in front of others.
A jealous friend will relish in speaking ill of you at any time and with anyone. To them, it's a way of making themselves look better in the eyes of others while keeping you down. They love to humiliate you whenever possible and will often dismiss it as a joke when you call them out on it.
4. They're extremely competitive.
Let's be honest. Toxic people are crazy competitive largely because they're fearful. They might fear "losing" because they don't want to be perceived as weak or inadequate, or because they're scared of being overshadowed and forgotten.
5. They obsessively flaunt their accomplishments.
"Look at me! Look at what I did! I'm so great!" Are all things you may hear from a person who's jealous of you, solely because they want to draw attention to themselves.
These kinds of insecure people want validation and praise heaped upon them nonstop. It's almost like they'll do anything it takes to get the compliments they're dying to hear.
6. They always find excuses to criticize you.
Someone who's always pointing out your flaws or missteps is probably jealous of you. They love the sense of superiority that comes with critique and want you to know they're "top dog."
7. They purposefully give you bad advice.
A toxic person who's jealous of you will always give bad advice on purpose for the sole reason of setting you up for failure. They won't want you to get your dream job or partner, and so they'll go out of their way to make sure you don't get what you want.
8. They always have something negative to say about someone.
It feels like they never have a kind word to say about anyone. It's always, "this girl tries too hard," or "this guy is a know-it-all."
People who are jealous never want to acknowledge positive qualities in someone as they feel like it'll diminish their own worth.
9. They always call things "unfair."
Toxic people never seem to want to wrap their heads around the idea that others achieve success through hard work. To them, it's more validating to believe the universe practices favoritism rather than believe someone's more qualified or just as hard-working as they are.
10. They're happy when you face setbacks.
If you have a sneaking suspicion that a friend is jealous of you, pay attention to their reaction when you tell them news about personal setbacks. They'll seem unusually satisfied or even glad to hear you didn't achieve what you wanted.
Your loss is their win.
11. They give backhanded compliments.
Passive-aggressive is their middle name. Seriously, they're incapable of giving you a sincere compliment.
Jealous people will "try" to compliment you to cover their tracks, but instead of offering genuine praise, they'll be sure to insult you whenever the opportunity arises.
12. They're always reminding you of your mistakes.
A good friend reminds you that you're human and everyone makes mistakes. A jealous friend reminds you of every instance you failed or embarrassed yourself.
People with this kind of toxic mindset delight in seeing others squirm and deflate.
13. They start pulling away when you're successful.
Those who are jealous of you won't be able to stand the sight of you living your best life. You'll notice they'll come up with different excuses to not hang out.
And more likely than not, they'll be off gossiping about you to anyone who will listen.
14. They never offer support.
Notice how you're always there to lend a hand or shoulder to cry on, but never the other way around? Jealous people simply don't want to see you thrive in any capacity, and so you won't find them trying to uplift or comfort you or be there for you when you need a friend.
15. They get annoyed when others compliment you.
Say it with me folks: insecurity at its finest! Jealous individuals are often so desperate for approval that they can't stand when it goes to someone else.
16. They copy you.
Remember what we said about jealous people being competitive? They'll try to imitate you in order to prove they "do it better."
Or, if they're envious of something you have, they'll fixate on projecting a "new" image of themselves in the hopes that they'll get what belongs to you.
What to do about someone who is jealous of you
1. Try to understand where they're coming from.
Note: this doesn't mean you should justify their behavior. There's never an excuse to make someone feel awful.
That being said, identifying potential causes of their jealousy might help you decipher their motives and reasoning. Realizing this can give you an advantage if you ever try to reason with them.
2. Talk to them.
If the person who's jealous of you is a close friend or loved one, try to tackle the problem head-on by having a direct conversation with them. Sometimes, people aren't even aware that their jealousy is manifesting physically.
A good tip is to always focus on how their actions make you feel rather than being accusatory. Prefacing the conversation with "I feel" statements will help avoid any misunderstandings.
3. Take a step back.
In an ideal world, a conversation is enough to revert a relationship into an idealistic one. The sad reality is that it's not always true, and so you might have to take other actions to protect yourself.
If someone is resistant to change, it may be a better idea to distance yourself from them. Consider surrounding yourself with people who will actually support and uplift you.
At the end of the day, if someone is constantly making you feel bad about yourself, then you have every right to move on and focus on your life. There will always be people willing to shower you in love.
Yona Dervishi is a writer who is currently working at YourTango as an editorial intern. She covers topics pertaining to self-care, radical acceptance, news, and entertainment.