16 Signs Of A Fake Friend Who's Jealous Of You
They're toxic, and not your friend.
Ayo Ogunseinde | Unsplash Jealousy is a complex emotion that we've all experienced at some point in our lives (whether we'd like to admit it or not), but sometimes the signs someone is jealous of you are easy to miss.
While it's not fair to demonize a person for experiencing a normal emotion like jealousy, there's a fine line between what's acceptable and what's problematic.
It's interesting to note that many successful individuals have spoken out about the impact jealousy has had on their relationships. Affluent entrepreneurs reveal the more they progress with their lives, the more it feels like they lose friends along the way.
Here are 16 signs of a fake friend who's jealous of you:
1. They're extremely insecure
Jealousy is linked to insecurity. When people have low self-esteem, they perceive everyone else's success as a threat. Or, because they feel they're not good enough, they may try to knock others down in order to build themselves up.
2. They diminish your achievements and accomplishments
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Anything you do well is written off. Someone who's jealous will never congratulate you. Rather, they'll try their hardest to dismiss your success by either telling you it's not a big deal or that they or someone else has already done it (and more successfully, at that).
3. They belittle you in front of others
A jealous friend will relish speaking ill of you at any time and with anyone. To them, it's a way of making themselves look better in the eyes of others while keeping them down. They love to humiliate you whenever possible and will often dismiss it as a joke when you call them out on it.
4. They're extremely competitive
Let's be honest. Toxic people are crazy competitive largely because they're fearful. They might fear "losing" because they don't want to be perceived as weak or inadequate, or because they're scared of being overshadowed and forgotten.
A jealous friend who is highly competitive often stems from underlying insecurities and low self-esteem. A 2024 study concluded that they perceive others' successes as a threat to their self-worth, leading to behaviors like comparison, one-upmanship, and even subtle sabotage to maintain a sense of superiority or minimize perceived gaps in achievement. This dynamic can particularly damage close friendships, creating tension and undermining trust.
5. They obsessively flaunt their accomplishments
"Look at me! Look at what I did! I'm so great!" Are all things you may hear from a person who's jealous of you, solely because they want to draw attention to themselves.
These kinds of insecure people want validation and praise heaped upon them nonstop. It's almost like they'll do anything it takes to get the compliments they're dying to hear.
6. They always find excuses to criticize you
Someone who's always pointing out your flaws or missteps is probably jealous of you. They love the sense of superiority that comes with critique and want you to know they're "top dog."
7. They purposefully give you bad advice
A toxic person who's jealous of you will always give bad advice on purpose for the sole reason of setting you up for failure. They won't want you to get your dream job or partner, and so they'll go out of their way to make sure you don't get what you want.
8. They always have something negative to say about someone
It feels like they never have a kind word to say about anyone. It's always, "this girl tries too hard," or "this guy is a know-it-all." People who are jealous never want to acknowledge positive qualities in someone as they feel like it'll diminish their own worth.
When friends consistently have negative things to say about others, it often stems from underlying jealousy. They feel threatened or inadequate, leading them to belittle others to protect their self-esteem. A 2022 study recommended communicating that you don't appreciate their negative comments and want to maintain a positive and supportive friendship.
9. They always call things 'unfair'
Toxic people never seem to want to wrap their heads around the idea that others achieve success through hard work. To them, it's more validating to believe the universe practices favoritism rather than believe someone's more qualified or just as hard-working as they are.
10. They're happy when you face setbacks
If you have a sneaking suspicion that a friend is jealous of you, pay attention to their reaction when you tell them news about personal setbacks. They'll seem unusually satisfied or even glad to hear you didn't achieve what you wanted. Your loss is their win.
11. They give backhanded compliments
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Passive-aggressive is their middle name. Seriously, they're incapable of giving you a sincere compliment. Jealous people will "try" to compliment you to cover their tracks, but instead of offering genuine praise, they'll be sure to insult you whenever the opportunity arises.
12. They're always reminding you of your mistakes
A good friend reminds you that you're human and everyone makes mistakes. A jealous friend reminds you of every instance you failed or embarrassed yourself. People with this kind of toxic mindset delight in seeing others squirm and deflate.
A friend constantly reminding you of past mistakes is likely acting out of jealousy. A 2018 study explained that they use your perceived flaws to feel better about themselves or to maintain control over you, often stemming from their insecurities and a need to diminish your achievements. This behavior can be categorized as subtle manipulation and can significantly damage your self-esteem.
13. They start pulling away when you're successful
Those who are jealous of you won't be able to stand the sight of you living your best life. You'll notice they'll come up with different excuses to not hang out. And more likely than not, they'll be off gossiping about you to anyone who will listen.
14. They never offer support
Notice how you're always there to lend a hand or shoulder to cry on, but never the other way around? Jealous people simply don't want to see you thrive in any capacity, and so you won't find them trying to uplift or comfort you or be there for you when you need a friend.
15. They get annoyed when others compliment you
Say it with me folks: insecurity at its finest! Jealous individuals are often so desperate for approval that they can't stand it when it goes to someone else.
16. They copy you
Remember what we said about jealous people being competitive? They'll try to imitate you in order to prove they "do it better." Or, if they're envious of something you have, they'll fixate on projecting a "new" image of themselves in the hopes that they'll get what belongs to you.
When a friend copies you, it often stems from insecurity, low self-esteem, and a desire to be closer to you. A study published in Psychology & Marketing explained that these feelings can manifest as jealousy, especially if they perceive you as having something they lack.
This leads them to mimic your behaviors and choices to feel more connected or like you. If you feel uncomfortable, consider having a candid conversation with your friend about your observations, expressing your feelings in a supportive manner.
Yona Dervishi is a freelance writer who covers topics about acceptance, wellness, news, and entertainment.