5 Benefits Of Dumping The Person Who Doesn't Love You As Much As They Should
You will find love and happiness again!
Josep Suria / Shutterstock When you love someone who doesn't love you back, it might be hard to see them anymore.
You might be madly in love and holding out a lot of hope for the future, but you loving them isn’t enough to keep your relationship together.
You may not want to break up with them, but understanding the benefits of breaking up when someone doesn’t love you back might just give you the strength to do so.
Dealing with unrequited love only spells pain and heartache.
Here are 5 benefits of breaking when someone doesn't love you back so you can move on with your life.
1. There are no more thousand little cuts.
Do you find yourself in some kind of pain every day?
Perhaps, your person hasn’t done what they said they were going to do. Perhaps, they haven’t shown up on time. Or, perhaps they ignored your texts.
No matter what they’ve done, they've caused you pain. Possibly, daily.
These little pains are called 1,000 little cuts, and they happen every day to people who are in unhealthy relationships. While it seems like only one big cut can draw blood, truly, 1,000 little cuts are worse.
Imagine waking up in the morning not struggling with the pain of yesterday. Imagine going through your day knowing you won’t be let down by someone.
You won’t have to worry about that text you're hoping to receive. Instead, you'd be able to go about your day with purpose, not feeling cut to pieces.
One of the major benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t want to be with you is that you will no longer suffer those little daily pains.
2. You will find yourself again.
For many, being in a relationship means losing sight of who they are.
Whether you dig into your partner's hobbies or choose to spend all your time with them because you love them so much, losing yourself in a relationship can — and does — happen.
One of the benefits of breaking up with someone who doesn’t love you is that you will be able to find yourself again.
You can use your time to do the things you want to do, hang out with the people you want to hang out with, and find joy in just being who you are.
When I got divorced, one of the things I set out to do was to pursue the things I was never comfortable doing during my marriage.
Over the course of 18 years, I found that I had really fallen into the pattern of doing what my husband wanted to do and I lost track of anything that I wanted.
So, what did I do? I learned how to ride a JetSki, I moved to New York City by myself, and I learned how to use a drill and can now fix almost anything by myself.
All of those things made me realize that I was my own person, someone who I was proud to be.
3. You will have hope for the future.
Be honest. Does this relationship make you anxious and hopeless? Does the future look bleak to you right now? Do you think you might never be happy again?
Do you wish things could go back to the way they were at the beginning because you're really not OK with where they are right now?
If you're feeling any of these things, then you're struggling with hopelessness. And hopelessness is not a part of a happy life nor part of a happy relationship.
It might be painful to break up with your person, but imagine how great it would feel to look to the future with hope.
To think of new days as promising and not full of tiny little cuts or terrible dread, but full of love and happiness and self-respect.
When you break up with someone who doesn't love you, you can finally have hope for the future in a way you might not have had for a long time.
4. You can apply what you've learned.
Many of my clients are struggling so much with ending a relationship that they have a hard time seeing the benefits of doing so.
But, when you break up with someone who doesn’t love you, you get to gather all the lessons you've learned into your romantic toolbox and use those things when you fall in love again.
I know that there are many things I did wrong in my marriage. I took my husband for granted, I treated him with contempt, I didn’t spend time with him, and I didn’t tell him how unhappy I was.
When I got into my new relationship, my very happy relationship, I made sure not to make the same mistakes as before. I tell him how I'm feeling, when he lets me down, and ask for what I want and not hope that he’ll just be able to guess.
As a result, because I let go of somebody who didn’t love me, I took my tools and moved forward into new love. Doing this, I was able to find the love that I had been looking for.
5. You find the happiness and love you deserve.
Many clients tell me that they're worried that if they break up with someone, they will never love and be loved again.
The only way that you will never love and be loved again is if you stay in a relationship that’s making you feel bad about yourself.
Only by letting go of this love, releasing memories of the past, and embracing hope for the future, will you be able to find the happiness and love that you truly want and desire.
Every moment you spend in this relationship — compromising yourself and struggling through the thousand little cuts — is a day wasted.
So, take the steps necessary to walk away from someone who doesn’t love you so you can move forward to find the happiness and love that you want.
Understanding the benefits of breaking up when someone doesn’t love you is the best way to get what you want.
The idea of breaking up is incredibly painful and I applaud you for even considering it if you are unhappy. But know that going through the pain of letting go of someone can only bring you love and happiness in the end.
It may not feel that way today but I can promise you, from personal experience, that it will happen and you can have a life and love full of hope.
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based, certified life and love coach. She's created a course that helps people get over a broken heart and rebuild their life, 4 Weeks to Letting Go of Love and Moving On.