7 Ways To Actually Bounce Back When The Going Gets Tough
You're not born knowing how to bounce back — you have to learn how.
Zolotarevs/Shutterstock Knowing how to bounce back from failure and tough times requires learning skills. No one is born knowing how to recover from adversity.
It takes learning how to manage thoughts, responses, and actions in your life and career. In addition, it takes confidence that the choices you make are good ones.
But, managing your emotions and feeling confident may be difficult to accomplish in the face of strenuous circumstances.
The good news is that these bounce-back skills can be developed and nurtured over time.
Here are 7 ways to bounce back from failure.
1. Understand what it means to bounce back.
Life is meant to grow through, not just go through. Your ability to adapt to change is essential to bouncing back when you get knocked down.
Change is a constant in this life, with ups and downs, ebbs and flows. If you’re able to accept this, you’ll be more motivated to get curious about the lessons you can learn from the cards you’re dealt and the choices you make.
You’re not the only one who needs to learn resilience skills. No one is born with it, but you’re in good company.
2. Learn how to manage your emotional response.
You get to choose your response to every situation you face. Just because you feel something or think something doesn’t mean you have to act on it.
Change the way you look at your situation so you can see it from a different perspective.
Be mindful not to dwell on the past or focus too much on the future. Instead, practice staying in the present where you can make the most impact.
Do things you enjoy so you can reduce stress and create positive experiences.
3. Take responsibility for your actions, reactions, and blunders.
It’s impossible to be perfect. Everyone makes mistakes because you can't always know the right thing to do. Owning your mistakes will increase your ability to bounce back from them.
Be curious about the role you play in every situation. Don’t play the blame game but examine your behavior — how you react — and identify what works in your favor so you can learn how to behave in the future.
Apologize when you need to. It takes humility and courage, for sure, and it also strengthens all the relationships in your life, especially the one with yourself.
Let go of resentment. Anger is a heavy burden and this powerful emotion can make it challenging to bounce back when you need to. You get to make a choice — carry it around or let go and forgive. And do it for yourself, not anyone else.
4. Build your community.
It takes a village and solid, meaningful connections to help you get through life’s most challenging times without feeling as if you must do it alone.
Surround yourself with people who understand you, share your values, and with whom you have fun. You’ll learn from these mentors.
They've bounced back from plenty and can serve as your role models for how to do it effectively and with grace.
Actively listen to your friends, family, and closest advisors to develop strong bonds and caring relationships.
Share your wants, needs, and goals, and ask your community to hold you accountable to meet them.
5. Self-care is the foundation for bouncing back.
It's like a muscle. Flex it often to keep it powerful. Begin with the basics. Take care of your personal environment, your body, your energy, and your peace of mind.
Notice any negative chatter between your ears and replace it with positive self-talk to bolster your resilience.
Neither self-love nor self-care is selfish. In fact, they are essential to being able to bounce back when the going gets tough.
6. Move your body.
When you feel energized by activity, your emotions are easier to deal with, and your mind is clearer to address adversity when it arises.
Keeping your body in motion helps to reduce feelings of worry, self-doubt, and stress. It’s a great coping skill because it builds confidence and self-worth by changing your brain’s neural pathways.
Choose an activity that brings you joy, lights you up, and is fun to do.
If you’re not excited about exercise, change the way you think about it. When you do something you enjoy, you can call it anything you want.
7. Challenge yourself to test your new bounce-back skills.
Do something that is beyond your comfort zone. Your ability to recover from unexpected events is built through experience, doing things you’ve never done, and gaining confidence in yourself by completing them.
You are stronger than you think. So, think stronger.
What if you couldn't lose? Is there a far-reaching dream that's been on your mind for a while? Go for it. Get clear on your vision and figure out the first step that will move you in that direction.
Then, take the next step, and the next. Tap into your support network to help you stay on track.
Your core life values are your compass. So measure every possible option you encounter against your top five values — if one option honors your values and another doesn’t, it’s a no-brainer decision.
What does it take to know how to bounce back when life knocks you down?
Building any new skill is a process that takes awareness, persistence, and dedication to get stronger each time you're faced with challenging life experiences.
Remember that having confidence in yourself is at the core of bouncing back from tough times.
Working on these seven steps for how to bounce back from failure will help you trust that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
María Tomás-Keegan is a certified Career and Life Coach for women, an award-winning author, and host of “Tips for the Transition," the #1 most-watched channel on VoiceAmerica TV. If you struggle to bounce back when life throws a curveball, building your skills will help. Access María’s free training module, Discover Your Resilience, to help you the next time you need to flex that muscle.