Think You Can't Find Love As A Busy Entrepreneur? Think Again
You don't have to deprive yourself of true love because you're busy.
getty Finding love isn't one-size-fits-all.
As a dating coach, finding out what a client wants from a relationship and how best to meet that person is one of the most energizing traits of my work, rather than what seems to most as an impossible dream.
Clients come in all shapes and sizes, span decades in age, and have vastly different personalities, talents, lifestyles, and careers.
And yet, they are all seeking one thing: A proven process and advice for finding true love that will stick this time.
How, where, and with whom they find that love is where the guidance of a dating coach comes in.
Yes, you can still find love — even if you're "married" to your work.
The "cautionary tale" of entrepreneurs is that they usually don’t make the easiest romantic partners. They are, by their very "non-job" job description, married to the business idea they are working to grow.
They assume risks that most of the world can’t or won’t, and their workdays often have no beginning and no end.
The positive spin is that at the heart of the entrepreneur is someone who is passionate about their endeavor and exudes positive energy. This trailblazer doesn’t allow their creativity and curiosity to hide behind fear or the status quo.
They are out there making things happen, instead of waiting and hoping for things to happen.
The most common roadblock for the entrepreneur seeking love is one of managing work-life balance and making time for a relationship. When you're "it" in a startup endeavor, you have to be "all in."
And yet, you still have to live — and hopefully love. Adding a relationship to the mix means you will have to learn to be "all in" without driving your partner out.
If you're an entrepreneur, you need to understand how your choices and lifestyle affect your partner.
You also need to ensure that your partner feels special and important in your life — or at least equally important to your entrepreneurial endeavor.
Here are 8 tips for finding love as a busy entrepreneur.
1. Make the pursuit of love a goal and a discipline.
Dating likely isn’t at the top of your to-do list. And yet, that probably doesn’t keep your yearning for a relationship from nudging you. Being on your own can be lonely.
The good news is that you can still stay in your entrepreneurial mindset and pursue love.
Schedule one night every week or two to go out with friends and meet people of the opposite sex. The key is to treat it with the same respect you would give to an important business meeting.
Be on time. Dress for the occasion. Bring your A-game. That means no canceling, no excuses, and no distractions.
2. Be honest and upfront.
It’s important to put all your cards on the table early in a relationship. You have limited time for love, so it’s important to know what you want in a relationship and be able to express it.
This isn’t about scaring away a potential partner, but being transparent. Any chance at lasting love will depend on both of you being on the same page, even if you have different needs.
Share what time you do have for a partner. Make sure the person you meet can be OK with "quality time," instead of "quantity time."
3. Find someone who shares your passion.
You don’t need to be matched to someone who knows and loves the very thing you are working on. But it’s important to be with someone who is similarly passionate.
It’s also important to be with someone who believes in what you are doing — and believes in you. Knowing that your significant other believes you have what it takes is extremely fortifying to a relationship.
Just be sure that you are reciprocating that same passion and confidence toward your partner.
4. Find someone who shares your values.
As an entrepreneur, you know that time is a valuable — and limited — commodity. And your life is driven by optimizing it.
When it comes to finding true love, your strategy for allocating your time is critical.
Your partner is much more likely to support your work commitments if you demonstrate integrity and balance in both work and love.
5. Make your partner feel important.
This point is paramount when you’re searching for true love. Your partner is going to be vulnerable to feeling second-best in your relationship, and that feeling can erode a relationship.
Think of your relationship as an account. You are constantly making deposits and withdrawals.
Obviously, it’s important to make more deposits than withdrawals, especially if you know there are going to be unexpected "costs" that come up.
Another piece of advice for finding true love and keeping it is to learn your partner’s Love Language and use that as a compass.
You can actually take the Five Love Languages Quiz together as a way to better understand one another’s needs.
6. Plan, schedule, and keep regular date nights.
Since your business hours are pretty much 24/7, it can easily become second nature to assume those closest to you "just understand."
But sitting alone in a nice restaurant or canceling on friends at the last minute so "the entrepreneur" can "do business" gets old.
In order to keep that love account with a healthy positive balance, it’s important to give your partner regular things to anticipate and depend on.
And that means no phones, no distractions, no impromptu meetings, and no cancellations (unless it’s a must, given a home situation or job for those real emergencies).
Date nights are for building and nourishing your relationship. They’re also a wonderful opportunity for your partner to be on the receiving end of all that creativity you use in your business.
7. Understand — and meet — your partner’s needs.
When I give advice for finding true love, my commitment is to set both partners up for relationship success.
For the entrepreneur, it can be easy to slip into the mindset of "everyone needs to understand me." But it's equally essential for you to understand your partner and what they need.
Remember to give equal value to your partner’s feelings and needs, or your relationship may end up being a "learning experience" instead of lasting love.
8. Be curious, desire to learn, and constantly communicate!
No matter who my client is or what they do for a living, this is one piece of advice for finding true love that applies to everyone.
Learning about another person is the exciting, joyful part of dating. That ease of listening with compassion and real interest is what forges genuine care for the other person.
It also bridges the heart and mind to create a vision of all the possibilities.
And believing in possibilities is what being an entrepreneur is all about.
Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship life coaching. If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels with online dating and finally find your true love, then download her free online dating checklist and see how you stack up with your online dating profile.