If You’ve Felt These 7 Emotions, You're Likely With A Partner Who Needs More Time To Mature
Pinkypills | Canva Healthy relationships help both people grow and mature together. When you're with the right partner, you feel supported through challenges and celebrated during wins, and even your disagreements lead to deeper understanding. But sometimes the person you're with just isn't emotionally ready for that kind of partnership yet, no matter how much you care about them.
In every relationship, you’re bound to feel some negative emotions towards your partner at one point or another. But if you’re experiencing more negative and draining emotions than happy ones, you may need to reconsider if it’s worth being in that relationship — especially if he triggers these toxic feelings.
If you’ve felt these 7 emotions, you're likely with a partner who needs more time to mature:
1. Shame
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In a healthy relationship, you should feel proud of your partner most of the time (unless, of course, they do something a little hurtful). You shouldn’t be apologizing for their behavior or be embarrassed to be seen with him. You should always be proud to be with him, no matter what.
Shame is a massive barrier to feeling lovable in relationships because it makes you want to retreat or hide instead of being your authentic self, research has shown. When you're constantly embarrassed by your partner's behavior or feel like you have to apologize for them, that shame chips away at your self-esteem and makes real intimacy basically impossible.
2. Loneliness
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One of the worst feelings is being lonely when you’re in a relationship. Even if you’re miles away, you should still feel complete or whole. And if you aren’t feeling the love you truly deserve, chances are you’ll still feel alone, even if they are on the couch next to you.
Research found that people who feel lonely in their romantic relationships report way less satisfaction and commitment. It creates more conflict and less trust between partners, which proves that you can be sitting right next to someone and still feel completely alone if there's no real emotional connection.
3. Disappointment
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If he triggers disappointment in his actions (or lack thereof), he’s not the one for you. He shouldn’t show up late for dates, forget important plans, make promises he doesn’t keep, or get your hopes up for no reason.
When there's a big gap between how your relationship actually is and how it should be, it directly predicts lower satisfaction and less commitment. This is especially true when you start thinking you could find someone else who would actually show up for you the way you deserve.
4. Jealousy
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It’s natural to feel a little jealous in a relationship, but it should never be consistent. Freaking out over every woman they talk to is possessive and shows that you don’t fully trust him. If you aren’t normally one to feel that territorial, your suspicions must be telling you that he may be acting inappropriately.
Extreme jealousy comes from low self-esteem and feeling possessive of your partner. Studies found that jealousy rooted in constant suspicion actually damages romantic relationships rather than protecting them, proving that real love doesn't require keeping tabs on someone all the time.
5. Confusion
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If he genuinely cares about you and is committed to you, you shouldn’t be receiving mixed signals from him. He shouldn’t be giving you vague answers, or be inconsistent with the way he shows his love for you. If he behaves out of the norm and triggers confusion, you’ll know something’s wrong.
When your partner gives you mixed signals or acts unpredictably, it creates what psychologists call intermittent reinforcement. This pattern keeps you hooked short-term but wrecks the relationship's stability and makes it impossible to figure out where you actually stand with someone.
6. Fear
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You shouldn’t be in a relationship full of fear. You also shouldn’t be afraid of initiating important conversations or feel on edge about his temper or reaction. In every relationship, you should be able to act freely with minimal fear or discomfort — not walking on eggshells. Research shows that walking on eggshells around your partner and constantly monitoring your words to avoid setting them off creates chronic stress and anxiety.
7. Self-doubt
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Whether it’s feeling the need to wear makeup or being afraid to get naked in front of him, he shouldn’t make you feel insecure. Instead, he should make you feel beautiful, desirable, and wanted.
Research shows that when your partner makes you feel insecure about yourself instead of building you up, it creates a cycle where you constantly question whether you're attractive enough or good enough. At the end of the day, your boyfriend shouldn’t make you feel bad about yourself or evoke negative emotions.
You shouldn’t feel triggered emotionally in any relationship — instead, you should feel empowered. Furthermore, you should always be reminded that you can achieve anything you put your mind to, that you have a strong support system, and are wholeheartedly loved and adored.
Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist, and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten.
