Why Long-Distance Friendships Are So Hard To Maintain (Plus 3 Reasons Why It's Worth The Effort)
Is it worth the trouble?
B PHOTOGRAPHY on Unsplash We all have that one go to friend who is always at the other end of the phone. The one who we can just call and say, "OMG I just walked by this bar with a great happy hour, how fast can you get here?" and you know she'll be there before you find a hook to hang your purse on. The kind of friend that will come over to your house at 3A.M. to stop you from calling your ex. The kind of friend who will show up at your doorstep on your birthday with bacon instead of a cake because she knows that's what you would prefer.
How lucky are we to know such wonderful people.
But sometimes we get separated from our friends. Maybe one of us gets a job out of state, or one of us needs to move back home for a while, or perhaps one of us just needed a change of scenery. No matter the reason, we get separated, start a long-distance friendship — and that can really suck. It's hard to maintain a long distance relationship, and same goes for a friendship. Differing time zones, lack of communication and lack of face-to-face time can really take a toll on your friendship — even if that person has been your best friend.
So now what? Now we are long distance friends. Instead of Sangria Sunday it is FaceTime Friday. Things change. But long distance friendship isn't all bad!
Here are 3 reasons why long distance friendships are hard, and 3 reasons why they are SO worth the effort.
1. You'll obviously miss your friend (and your old ways) like crazy.
The most obvious reason it sucks to be long distance friends is because you miss your best friend! Who are you going to go to brunch with? Who is going to come over for a glass of wine the second after you call? How can you hate all of the same people if you don’t know the same people anymore?!
Change is always hard but when you suddenly enter into a long distance friendship, too much feels like it is changing.
2. There's bound to be some jealousy issues.
Another reason long distance friendships are hard is jealousy. When you’re scrolling on Instagram and you see your best friend post a picture with someone else and caption it “new work bestie” or “love this girl” or anything of that nature, it can feel like you’re being replaced.
You want your friend to be happy but you don’t want to be forgotten.
3. It gets really lonely without your best friend by your side.
The worst part of long distance friendships is the loneliness. You have weekly or biweekly dates to call each other at first, but sometimes those dates fall by the wayside. Or sometimes they’re not enough. You can always make new friends but no one can replace the void left by the friend you are missing.
1. You have the best excuse to stay up all night giggling on the phone.
Sometimes, long distance friendships can be awesome! Picture you live in New York and your girl lives in Los Angeles — it's two in the morning and you cant sleep. There are thousands of things running through your brain and you want to talk them through with someone.
This is when living in different time zones is awesome! You can call up your girl because you know she’s gonna be awake. Pour a glass of wine and your heart out. These are the times you can really support each other.
2. You can get real snail-mail letters and cute postcards you can keep forever.
SNAIL MAIL! Don’t underestimate it. Everyone likes getting mail (unless it's bills #adulting), and the best kind of mail comes from your pen-pal bestie. You can pick out cute stationary and send each other love notes! Birthday cards, Christmas cards, cards just because! You can send each other treats! It is fun to go to the store and pick out her favorite candy.
Imagine how happy she’ll be opening up a box of love from you!
3. The reunions will be EPIC!
The BEST part about long distance friendships is the REUNIONS! Getting off of a plane and jumping into the arms of your favorite girl! Running down a busy street to wrap your arms around your bestie. When you haven’t seen your best friend in a long time and you finally get together, it is the most amazing time!
Kaitlin Kaiser is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.