How To Get A Guy To Notice You — And Keep His Attention
Make him fall for you.
Iakov Filimonov / shutterstock Getting a guy to notice you might be one of the most frustrating things about being a woman. If you approach a man, you might come off as desperate, and if you choose not to approach him, you’re left with no choice but to stand around waiting to be noticed by your crush.
The good news is that if the guy you’re interested in doesn’t notice you, it doesn’t automatically mean he’s not attracted to you.
Men are wired to chase women, but they rely on verbal and non-verbal cues to see whether women are interested or not. Guys are just as, if not more, afraid of rejection than women, so there’s a chance he may feel like approaching you has a risk of you rejecting him, too.
But how do you get a guy's attention without talking to him? It’s important to give men some space to chase you, but also let him know you’re interested in a relationship, want to fall in love, or at least want to go on a date. You want men to pick up cues that let him know you want to get to know him and that you find him attractive, without looking desperate or “thirsty.”
If you’ve been in this position before, you may have asked yourself this question: How do I attract the guy I want? The secret to achieving this has to do with building tension. Building tension by allowing a man to chase you is an exciting experience for both parties. It will get to a point where your crush has no choice but to make a move.
But before you learn how to get a guy to notice you, remember that feeling confident is the most important component.
"Be confident, a little bit sassy, and never linger, and you’ll capture his attention for sure," says love and dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan.
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Everything you do to get his attention must exude confident female energy. Coming off clingy or attention-seeking does the exact opposite, and might turn him off. After all, you aren’t a damsel in distress who needs saving! Your crush may feel like you're obsessive or insecure, and there’s nothing attractive about that.
Letting a guy chase you indicates that you’re a catch and can stand out from other women. There’s nothing sexier to men than women who are confident, whether you’re trying to get his attention or not. It also shows that you’re living your life, and aren’t waiting on his every word or action to validate you.
If you want to get his attention and finally make your crush notice you, use these five tips and tricks to let him know you’re interested.
6 Tips to Get a Guy to Notice You
1. Connect with him on social media.
With everyone on their phones constantly these days, asking your crush to be your friend, or following him on social media, is a great way to catch his attention. Follow him and there’s a high chance that he will follow you back.
But even if he doesn’t follow you back or automatically accept your friend request, try to engage with him: like his pictures (not too many), respond to his tweets, laugh at his jokes, or comment on something he posted.
At some point, he’ll notice you... and hopefully message you directly.
2. Talk to him about something you're passionate about.
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Women who talk openly about their hobbies and passions are perceived as more attractive by men, because you come off as "deep" and prove that there’s more to you than your looks.
Peak his curiosity, but try not to talk about yourself too much. And don't forget to ask him what he's into, too. Hopefully, you’ll have a good conversation where your crush will feel open and free to talk about his own interests.
Who knows? You might even be into the same things.
3. Dress confidently.
Dressing like you love yourself means wearing what you want, how you want to wear it. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to dress sexy, but if you feel good about yourself, go for it! Everybody has their own style, and there’s no right or wrong way to do it.
Even making subtle changes — like wearing your hair in a unique way or trying something new with your makeup — can give him the impression that you feel confident and in charge. And what's not attractive about that?
It's also important to make sure what you wear is something you’re comfortable in and that represents you. A woman who is confident in her appearance and style is one that can stand out in a room full of others.
4. Make eye contact with him.
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Making eye contact with your crush is a non-verbal cue that you're not only confident, but you’re attracted to him and interested in what he has to say.
When he’s talking to you about his pet peeve of gum chewing or why he hates living in the city, stare into his eyes, but not in a strange or creepy way; he will know he has your complete, undivided attention, which produces a chemical called phenylethylamine that may make the person feel like they are in love.
5. Lightly touch him.
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Once you’ve made eye contact, literally catching his eye, physical touch is another important part of helping him pay attention. Not only is touch important biologically, but it also shows trust and safety.
When you lightly touch his arm during your conversations, give him a hug, or sit next to him rather than across from him, your body language is showing that you’re confident but can still be vulnerable. If he begins to show an interest, he’ll mirror your actions.
In addition to touch, be mindful of your body language. Adds Ryan, "Your body language is flirty. So, you might quickly look him up and down before smiling or saying anything. Or, from a distance, you can play with your hair or jewelry, which let’s a man know you are open to talking with him."
6. Smile!
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This one might come off weird, but men notice a woman with a beautiful smile, and guys love when you flash your pearly whites. Studies show that people who smile are seen as more attractive than people who don’t, and what better way to get a guy’s attention than one of your best features?
Smiling gives men a sense of warmth, friendliness, and happiness, not to mention it's also sexy. If you want to flirt a little bit, also let him know that he makes you smile.
"If you already know him, flirting is a bit easier. Should he make you laugh, you could say, 'I like talking with you. You always make me laugh.' Or, 'Every time I see your face, it makes me smile,'” Ryan suggests.
Why not give it a try?
7. Compliment him.
It can feel a bit trite to give someone a compliment, especially when you're trying to get them to notice you. But as long as you're genuine, a simple compliment can go a long way.
Ryan recommends trying something simple: "That blue tie makes your eyes look so blue." Or, for something not related to physical qualities, "You have a wonderful way of speaking."
The bottom line is that you want to get his attention, without sounding fake. As Ryan says, "Flattery that is sincere goes a long way to get a man’s attention. Men love praise, just don’t over do it — that will detract from your authenticity."
Maatie Kalokoh is a writer and former contributor to YourTango who covers astrology, pop culture and relationship topics.