Back-To-College Advice: 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Start Dating At The Beginning Of The Semester
Good things are worth waiting for.
Erik Lucatero on Unsplash When the new school year starts for college students, you look forward to several things: seeing friends you haven’t seen all summer, wild college parties, and — maybe, finally — finding someone to love, kiss and have a little fun with.
While you might do just that, I’m here to burst your bubble a little bit. Feel free to look for love, but don’t do it right now.
I know it’s tempting. You’re now surrounded by a seemingly endless amount of options for potential partners. But the thing is, the beginning of the year is so chaotic that there’s a fair chance that if you do find someone, it could fizzle out as quickly as it started.
Then, if you have to see that person repeatedly, that just makes both your lives awkward.
Whether you’re an incoming freshman or a returning student, college can be an exciting time, and there’s certainly no shortage of romances. But if you decide to take the advice I give you, I want you to watch those couples you see regularly and see how many of them actually last. Not trying to be super negative — it’s just that after four years, I’ve seen my fair share of relationships that started at the beginning of the year — and then end — within months or even weeks.
Finding love in college is a pursuit everyone should feel free to chase after, but here are three reasons why you should instill some patience so you can make sure you find the one for you.
1. The first semester of college a time of transition.
This is a time in everyone’s life where they have to adjust or readjust to college life. Getting into the swing of classes, reconnecting with friends, joining clubs and learning their schedules as well. There’s a lot going on at the start. If a romance gets thrown into the mix, it just makes things all the more complicated and stressful.
There’s a decent chance one of the two sides will feel neglected because of everything going on. As you can guess, that will lead to plenty of other problems until eventually the relationship ends. Even if you’re someone who believes they can balance school, extracurricular activities and a relationship, the other person might not be able to do that. Honestly, putting that level of expectation and stress on them is just unfair.
2. Your focus should be on yourself — studying and moving up in the world ... not someone else.
The key to any successful school year is starting out strong. That means putting in the work, showing up to class, doing your homework on time (or even early) and studying for that test that your professor decided to give you after only the first week. Getting your classes going on a good note will do a lot for you in the future.
None of this is to say you should ONLY focus on studying. Really what I’m saying is once you get into this routine, you’ll find a lot of other things feel a lot less stressful. Not only that, but it’ll be easier to know how much free time you have and whether or not you think that’d be enough to maintain a relationship.
3. Rushing in to love is always a bad idea.
This last one is probably obvious, but if you fall in love with someone at first sight and then date them and things progress really quickly, there’s about a 50/50 chance of it falling apart. It’s one thing if you already know the person, but if it’s someone you just met, you should take the time to get to know them. By the way, only hanging out for a couple of weeks isn’t enough time.
Love a lot of the time falls under the category of “you’ll know it when you feel it.” You’ll know if the person you’re dating or interested in is the one for you, so don’t rush it. Take your time and be sure that he or she is the one you truly want and are meant to be with.
Jesse Oakley is a writer who writes about love, relationships, self-care and spirituality/astrology.