15 Not-So-Obvious Ways To Make A Woman Fall In Love With You
Subtle ways to nurture her love.
Scopio | Canva Love can seem pretty complicated, but knowing how to speak someone's love language in a relationship can be simple if you know where to start!
There's a lot of relationship advice on making someone fall in love with you, but if you want a healthy relationship built on love and trust, then the best relationship goals you can create start with falling in love.
Creating the space for a woman to fall in love begins with a series of small actions that might seem inconsequential to you but add up to a lot over time!
There are certain steps you can take that will win you "brownie points" no matter what phase of your relationship you're in.
Here are 15 not-so-obvious ways to make a woman fall in love with you:
1. Say please and thank you
Yes, it’s one of those simple courtesies your mother probably drummed into you when you were little, but it has a lasting impact.
Do you remember to do it every time you’re around your woman? I’m guessing probably not.
You’re in too much of a hurry, and it’s only a little thing. Yet, if you try it out, you'll realize it has a powerful impact. You'll notice it soon!
Your love quotient with her will rise when you remember to do this often. So small, yet those words show a ton of respect. "Please" and "Thank you" will help her fall in love with you in no time.
2. You wear well-fitting clothes
There is nothing more attractive than a man wearing well-fitting clothes. Smoking hot is my experience of it! A woman wants to be with you forever when you wear clothes that make you model material.
Women love it when men take pride in how they look. You don’t have to wear what everyone else wears, just make your clothes fit — that way you show off what she loves to see.
She won’t be able to keep her hands off you!
3. Remember how she likes her coffee
You can substitute any of her favorite drinks in place of coffee. The focus here is on paying attention to the details. Nothing says, "I love you" more than having your favorite drink made by your man just the way you like it. And it's even better when you don’t ask for it, so it is a pleasant surprise.
Take the time to notice when she might need a drink, and make it for her. You’ll get lots of love if you do that, for sure.
This may not seem like much, but it's a simple, easy-to-do action that, when added to the other small items on this list, will make a big difference to her.
4. Ask how her day was — and listen to her response
Yes, you’re busy with work and your friends, but she wants someone to listen to her. She would love you to be that person.
Be truly interested in her day and actively listen when she shares it with you. I don’t mean listening while you’re texting or watching TV or something; that’s not it.
This is about being connected to her and what she’s got to say. She’ll love you for it. Oh, remember, you don’t necessarily need to respond to everything she says. Maybe all she wants is a good listener.
This one will supercharge your love, so take note. It’s so simple but gives you lots of brownie points because it's that crucial.
5. Put the top back on the toothpaste tube
Small things make a big difference. There's nothing worse than when you're the last one to use the toothpaste, and you leave the tube on the sink with the lid off.
This surely is the killer of relationships. Whereas if you are the one who uses the tube and always puts the lid back on, you're in for massive brownie points.
She will love you every time you do this small thing. Remember, you’re adding all those positive things with each small action you take.
6. Put the toilet seat down
Guys like the lid up on the toilet, and that’s now how women approach it. So, to win your love's heart, use the toilet the way you like and remember to put the seat back down.
She will love you immensely for it. If you don’t, there will be nothing but resentment.
If you've ever tried to use the toilet half-asleep and fallen in, you'll appreciate how important this is and why it matters to her!
7. Buy the flowers she likes (not just what's available)
Sometimes, you think the spur-of-the-moment “Let me buy her flowers” thing works. While buying her flowers is a nice sentiment, if you can go the extra mile and get her favorite flower, it will make all the difference.
A lot of women have a favorite flower, and the way to win her heart is to buy her just those. Make sure you’ve found out what her favorite flowers are, and go out of your way to spontaneously buy those every so often.
Your brownie points for this are sure to be high on the scale for relationship goals.
8. Handwrite cards and send them to her (or leave them around for her to find)
There is nothing like a handwritten card or note to win a woman's heart. It doesn’t matter how bad your handwriting is, although she does need to be able to read your heartfelt message.
So have a few witty or romantic blank cards to write a love message on, and leave the cards for her. Or better yet, drop it in her purse when she’s not looking.
It’s the surprise of receiving it that adds to its value.
9. Put your dirty laundry in the hamper
Aha! There is nothing a woman loves more than when her man is clean and neat.
Don’t just drop your jeans, jocks, and socks on the floor beside the bed. That’s a no-no. Even if you’re visiting her overnight. Fold your clothes and leave them tidily someplace. And if you’re living together, this is a habit you must get into.
The only way you score love points for this task is by being consistent.
10. Keep appointments with her (especially for date nights)
Women love to know you're dependable. So, it’s critical that when you make an appointment with her, you keep it. If it’s a date night you’ve arranged, then doubly so.
You’ll make her feel extra special if you give up beer with the guys and take her to the movies for your time together.
Try and fit a date night in at least once every couple of weeks for optimum love levels!
11. Talk about special times you’ve spent together
Remembering those special moments you shared and talking with her about them will certainly get you into the love space.
She’ll love that you remembered the circumstances around the occasion, too. Talk about the walk you took in the park and the sunset you watched together.
Joke about when you picked the wrong thing from the menu at one of the new restaurants you tried.
Reminiscing will win you some sweet love. You can do it during the drive to her apartment or when you're out with friends. The stories will stick out in her memory as special — and show you think those things are special, too.
12. Share how you’re feeling with her
Yes, I know it’s not always easy for you to share your feelings. You might not want to talk about it, yet she will feel loved and connected to you if you do.
You’ll show her you want a connection, and she means something special to you.
Women love it when men are vulnerable and share their true selves. This sharing will win you mega brownie points.
13. Know what her favorite outfit is (with you in it)
A sneaky one I know. You might be surprised to know your woman will have an outfit she loves seeing you in. For me, it was my man in his suit. Hot, hot, hot.
So, pay attention to what she says when you get dressed up. She might love you the most in your thigh-hugging jeans and a dark blue t-shirt that shows off your arms.
Whichever outfit it is, there will be one that rates high on her love radar. Find out what it is, and wear it often. Not too often — then it’s obvious you're trying to win love points! Still, wear it often enough that she’s swooning over you.
14. Take photos of her many moods (together or with just her in them)
You might not like to have your photo taken, and she might say she doesn’t either, but women love you to love them.
If you want to take snaps of moments you’re together, whether at the café having breakfast when you’re on a beach walk, or simply sitting snuggled on the sofa watching a movie, grab the moment.
She’ll appreciate you want to capture her in all her moods. And if you change the photos on your phone's screen saver, then all the better.
This is a sneaky little love trick. Unless they're extroverted, most women won’t tell you they appreciate this.
Take it from me, the one who was always taking photos of my partner. I wanted him to be snapping photos of me, too.
15. Clean (your apartment or hers) after a party or get-together
If you’re interested in helping her clean especially after you’ve had a party at her place, she will love you forever.
This is one of those tasks she’ll tell you can wait until the morning, if you help her do it straight away, it leaves time for you both to sleep in and enjoy brunch instead of waking up to a mess.
Sure, some of the actions on this list will work well when you are first dating. Others are for when you’ve been together for a little while. Then there are the actions you probably forget about, having been together so long, that will bring the spark back into your love life again.
If you make an effort with small things like this, she’ll be blown away with your thoughtfulness!
Karen Cherrett is a relationship coach, life coach, and holistic counselor who works with individuals to be clearer in their communication.