How To Tell Someone You Love Them For The Very First Time
That first time can be scary ... so make it fun!
Getty Knowing how and when to tell someone you love them for the first time can be a special kind of confusing.
I remember so well when I was falling in love with my own boyfriend. We had been friends for three months when we realized that it was more than friendship. I knew I loved him, but I was too scared to actually say, "I love you."
Instead, one day I said, "I am being careful with my words."
He smiled and said the same, and for a month or so, we skirted around those three little words, replacing them instead with my careful phrase.
I was waiting for the perfect moment. This was the love of my life and I wanted the moment I told him I loved him to be the perfect moment. So, what happened? We were rolling around in bed one day, teasing each other, and I said, "I don’t just love you for your package."
Then I realized what I'd said and he realized what I'd said and we looked at each other, wide-eyed ... and burst out laughing. He made some similarly crass statement and, boom, our love for one another was declared.
I love our story, even though I know it's not the story every girl wishes for. And that said, there are ways to make that moment perfect for you and your own relationship.
Here are 5 tips on how to tell someone you love them for the first time in a way that will make you both smile.
1. Make sure you really mean it.
The first step toward telling someone you love them for the very first time is making sure you really mean it.
Saying I love you is a big step, and if you say it to get a guy to like you, or because you are feeling vulnerable, or because you really want to but aren’t sure you do — then don't.
Wait until you really love your person before you say the words. Don’t force it. True love is important and shouldn’t be faked.
2. Choose the perfect setting.
Picking the perfect setting can be an important part of telling someone you love them. Every couple is different and what works for some doesn’t so much for others.
What would be the perfect place for you and your person? Do you love the beach? How about that bar where you first met? Or perhaps on a rooftop at sunset? In bed? In front of your friends?
Think about what would be perfect for the two of you as a couple and what you feel would make the first time you say those words special.
3. Look them in the eye.
The best way for someone to really hear and understand you when you are saying something important is to make direct eye contact as you speak.
Think about when someone told you something important but didn’t look directly at you. Was the import of that statement reduced because of the lack of eye contact? Did you not really believe or trust what they were saying?
Making eye contact with your guy when you are telling him you love him is key! You want him to know you mean it!
4. Let them feel it.
Words are very important, and so are actions. Telling your guy you love him is important, but backing it up with actions is more so.
The actions can be small, like holding his hand, or bigger, like doing his favorite thing in bed, or huge, like having dinner with his mother every Sunday.
Think about the times when you have been in a relationship and the guy tells you he loves you but then he disappears or doesn’t treat you right. Did that make you feel loved?
So, tell your guy you love him, but show him, too.
5. Be creative.
In this day and age of everything being posted on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, sometimes getting creative with your declaration of love can be fun.
I remember that when I was in high school, my boyfriend took me to the beach and drew the words "I love you" in the sand. Another guy gave me a cake with the words "and then I met you." (How lucky was I in both cases?)
What would be fun and creative for you to do? If you aren’t a creative person, check out Pinterest. There are plenty of unique and exciting ways to tell someone you love them all over the internet.
It’s OK to not have an original idea. Just making the effort and making it your own is a huge demonstration of how you really feel.
Telling someone you love them for the very first time is exciting and scary.
It's a special moment and something that you will remember forever. So, make sure that you really mean it, choose someplace special, back up the words with actions, and be creative.
Make the moment one that is perfect for both of you. Perhaps this is the beginning of your happily ever after.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate whose writing has been published in The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN, and The Good Man Project, among others.