3 Common Reasons So Many Couples Break Up Around Valentine's Day, According To Research
Statistics show breakups peak around February 14th.
getty Valentine's Day is synonymous with romance and love. Yet, V-day is one of the biggest breakup times of the year, according to Facebook data collected by information designers David McCandless and Lee Byron.
They scraped 10,000 Facebook status updates looking for the words "break-up" or "broken-up" over the course of a year, and formatted their research findings into an infographic, which McCandless presented during a TED Talk.
Source: InformationIsBeautiful.com/LeeByron.com
Social media statuses will start to show couples breaking up in the weeks leading up to February 14th, as well as weeks after.
But why does a holiday specifically designated for love trigger so many couples to break up?
Here are 3 reasons why so many couples break up around Valentine's Day.
1. The pressure of expectations
Valentine's Day is marketed as a gift-giving holiday that represents your love, equaling the gift you give.
Many partners have an expectation of what they "want" or "expect" from their significant other for V-Day — maybe it's a gift that has a dollar amount attached, or a gesture that requires a certain amount of care and attention. However, these Valentine's Day expectations can create unrealistic hopes of where you think your relationship should be at this point (or where you want it to go).
The result can be undue pressure, which could lead some couples to break up.
2. Social media comparisons
Social media has become the way people share all of their experiences from what they are eating, receiving as gifts, places they travel, their intimacies displayed for others to compare their lives, too.
Unfortunately, most of these displays are exaggerated and unrealistic of what their everyday life is comprised of. They fail to show the heartbreak, pain, failures, and reality of what life is really all about.
A study conducted by psychologist Dr. Marian Morry and Tamara Sucharyna and published in the journal, Computers in Human Behavior, found that couples who compare their lives and relationships to what they see happening in their friends' lives on social media become depressed, unfulfilled, and demand their partners live up to their perceptions of others.
This creates an unrealistic expectation that becomes impossible to be fulfilled long-term. The pressure and resentment will ultimately destroy the relationship and lead to a break up.
3. The relationship is already in crisis
A relationship struggling before Valentine's Day may crumble under the stress and demands of this holiday.
For example, one partner may put so much effort into over-pacifying to make up for the state of their relationship that, if their partner isn’t appreciative and their hard work doesn’t pay off, they just give up. On the other hand, if a frustrated or deprived partner yearns for something from their partner on Valentine's Day — a thoughtful gift, a romantic gesture, anything — and they do not get it, their V-Day let-down becomes the breaking point.
According to a study of newlywed couples conducted by psychologist and researcher Dr. John Gottman, when partners don't make consistent "emotional bids" for connection— acts of turning toward your partner, both physically and emotionally — the likelihood that stresses on your relationship (such as being disappointed on Valentine's Day) will lead to some kind of huge fight, increase dramatically.
If any of these risk factors hit home with you, don't allow your relationship to become one of the statistics! Take control and get help now to change the outcome.
Deni Abbie is a Certified Life Coach and Hypnotherapist. Contact her for help you ensure your Valentine's Day is filled with love, romance and happily ever after!