3 Sweet Things Every Guy Wants To Hear From The Woman He Loves
Win his heart all over again.
Ekateryna Zubal / Shutterstock If your guy is acting distant, there are sweet things you can say to make him feel loved and draw him back in. Just touch him and tell him one of the following phrases, and he will be madly in love with you for life.
These phrases are not about paying him lip service; they're about authentic communication and are what men want to hear from the women they love. You need to light up different parts of a man's brain in order to reach a threshold where he feels respected, understood and appreciated.
Here are 3 sweet things every man wants to hear from the woman he loves.
1. 'You've got this.'
Most men want you to step back and let them find their own way. The classic example is how men don’t like to ask for directions, even if it takes longer to get to the destination.
Masculine men thrive when they feel respected. This happens when they know you see them in their best light: capable and in control. Of course, to some degree, you appreciate respect, too. Mutual respect, in fact, is a trait that healthy relationships and marriages have.
Can you remember a time when this was true for you — when someone saw the best in you and your potential? You probably felt marvelously respected. It's hard not to love a person who loves and believes in you, right?
So the next time your boyfriend appears lost, you have a choice: Tell him how to do it, or let him know you have faith in him.
This takes courage on your part to move beyond the times he might have disappointed you in the past. Unless he’s struggling with an addiction or mental illness — in which case he needs professional help — it's easy enough to remember that the only way you learn is to make mistakes and do a little better each time.
Your patience and belief in him will mean the world to him. He needs to be told, “I know you can do it.” This gives him tons of motivation to make you happy and proud when he succeeds.
When you can allow yourself to have more faith in his abilities, he’ll open his heart to you. All because you verbalized your faith in him.
2. 'I know you had good intentions for doing that.'
Usually, when you’re frustrated with your boyfriend, it’s because you think he doesn’t care or was trying to hurt you. When you're upset, your emotions can get the best of you and blow things out of proportion.
Here's a loving reality check: A guy who's trying to love you is not trying to undermine you. Most people want to do right by people. After all, they feel capable and confident about themselves for doing so.
This is a mental shift you need to create for yourself first before you tell a guy what he needs to hear to love you. Shift your focus to uncovering what good intention he must have had.
And this really builds upon the first point. Respectfully have faith in him, because it means you're loving him enough, again, to see the best in him and his intentions.
When your man is clumsy with doing right by you, consider how his intentions were good, although his execution was sloppy. You can say something like, “I know you're sensible and caring. And at the same time, right now, I feel hurt. So I must have misinterpreted something. Can you help me see what you needed or intended?"
Really listen until you understand what the positive need or intention was underneath.
3. 'Thank you for doing that. I know you care.'
Masculine men value being providers. That doesn't just mean that he wants to provide for his family financially. It gives him a huge amount of joy and pleasure to be the one providing for the people he loves, especially his woman.
If your boyfriend takes you out on a date, he takes emotional responsibility for the whole experience. If you like the atmosphere at the venue, he feels good about himself and that he knew to bring you there. If he takes you to a concert and you like the music, he feels as if he were playing in the band.
When you appreciate what he provides, you’re complimenting him and he feels inspired to do more for you.
What makes this work is the powerful shift that has to happen in you first. Even if you've been stressed out, frustrated or cynical, make it a point to start fresh and try on the magic of appreciating him anyway. Put the positive energy out there and let it blossom into your love story.
The best appreciations aren’t just about something he did. A good appreciation has 3 elements:
- Something specific he did
- A positive character trait about him
- What it provided for you, especially your positive feelings
For example, instead of saying, “Thanks for making dinner,” you can say, “Thanks for making dinner tonight. I know how busy you’ve been and it shows how much you value taking care of me. I feel so supported and cared about when you cook for me.” Can you see how that’s so much more meaningful than saying, “Thanks for making dinner?”
Of course, these have to be genuine in order to inspire his love. If you’re saying these things to manipulate him, he’ll feel it and it’ll backfire.
If you want to “make” him love you, the best remedy for that is to put the focus back on yourself. Ask yourself, “What would I be feeling if he loved me more deeply?” Perhaps you’d feel happy, blissful, adored, or secure.
The best way to inspire a man’s (or anyone’s) love is to focus on stopping trying to “get” him to do or feel things, and instead, focus on other ways you can feel these feelings on your own — through self-care, self-love, and nurturing your relationships with friends and family.
Overall, as you recap these three important ways to send love signals straight to your man's heart, imagine these three areas — respect, understanding, and appreciation — as the three essential vitamins for your relationship.
You don't want your man to be deficient in any of these for long. But with this relationship advice, you're now well on your way to having a thriving relationship.
Valerie Greene is a relationship mentor, certified life coach, Certified NLP Master Practitioner, and owner of Vitality Coaching. She's experienced in helping women attract and sustain lasting love since 2005.