8 Unavoidable Signs It's Time To Break Up (Even If You Still Love Him)
Even if you don't exactly want to break up, it might be time to move on.
getty Break ups suck! Relationships take so much time to build — not to mention the work, love, patience, and trust we put into them — and when we start to get thoughts of that same relationship possibly not working out for the long run, it's devastating.
If you're asking, "should I break up with my boyfriend?" chances are, in your gut, you can feel that something just isn't quite right. It is not easy to walk away from a person you love, but sometimes you have to do that for yourself or for the other person because it is better for both of you to be apart than together.
So how do you know when to break up with someone? You will see these signs and feel the emotions that it is time to end a relationship:
1. Something in your relationship doesn’t feel right.
It is natural to have some doubts in every relationship, and it's necessary to put work in every relationship — but when deep inside you know that this is not the right thing in your life, well, you don’t need more justification.
The thought that this is not the person you see a future with is clear enough. If you really wanted to be with this person, you would not keep questioning yourself.
2. It takes more out of you than what it gives.
If most interactions and meetings with your partner leave you drained, irritated and sadder than when you are by yourself, you have to be honest with yourself and tell yourself that it is time to walk away.
3. You cannot support each other’s dreams.
You have to have your partner’s back. Sometimes when it comes to following your dreams, one person has to sacrifice a little more than the other one because it is the nature of life.
But when one person stops valuing the other's ambitions and only focuses on their own, the imbalance in the nature of their respect for each other’s life goals can only lead to an end.
4. There's a lack of respect for each other’s families and friends.
You do not have to like each other’s families and friends and you do not have to approve of them either. But you always have to respect the people who have been there in your partner’s life before you met them. Pulling them away from who they used to be will only lead to them losing sight of their true identity, which usually leads to them withdrawing from you.
5. You want different things in life.
He wants kids and you don’t. He wants to get married and you don’t. Religion is important to him and you do not believe in God.
There is nothing wrong with feeling the way and wanting the things you do, but if the two of you want completely different things, that means either one person has to change. Otherwise, it is only a matter of time till you part ways.
You cannot meet in the middle for some big life decisions.
6. You think too much of how your life used to be before you met this person.
Being with someone should make you feel happy and you should want to do things with the person, get to know them more, and become a better person in the process. If you daydream too much about how your single life used to be or how you were with your ex, this is not the person you should stay with.
7. You complain about this person too much.
If you complain more to your friends about this person than talk about him with love and kindness, you are not helping your friends like your partner. Also, you are telling others what you should be telling yourself. You have to stop finding faults or let go.
8. You are more excited about other people.
If you find yourself making plans with, texting or communicating more on social media with someone else and your current partner has no idea, you are slowly entering a dangerous area of potentially cheating on your partner.
Have some respect for the person and end it before becoming a cheater.
Relationships are not easy. Relationships take work, but it is the best work you will ever do. When two people want to be with each other and are willing to do whatever it takes to stay with each other, nothing can get in their way.
But if one or both of you do not this way, it may be time to say your goodbyes.
Anjana Rajbhandary is a certified mental health professional, researcher and self-directed writer/editor with over six years of experience in mental health, editorials, and non-profits. Follow her on Instagram.