What It Really Means To Have A Best Friend (So You Can Be One, Too)

What is a “best friend” really?

Is it some mythical idea of the perfect person we like to say we have in elementary or high school? Is it some prize we’ve won? Is it the best thing someone could ever have?

The answer to all of these questions is actually yes. But there’s a lot more to this story.

My best friend knows me as well as I know myself — sometimes better. She has a lot of other close friends and I have some as well. But if someone asked me right now who my “best friend” was, she’d definitely nail it. She’s been nailing it for almost 3 decades.

My best friend has dragged me out from the depths of despair when no one else was watching. My best friend held me all night when my heart exploded and my pride was shattered. My best friend cradled me in the midst of debilitating heartbreak.

My best friend has been a hell of a lot more than just a friend. She’s been a sister, a partner, a roommate, a mother figure and — at times — even an enemy.

She told me the truth when I didn’t like it. She yelled at me when I was stubborn. She told me I was being stupid when I thought I knew it all. She has fought for me, traveled for me, and considered me. Above all, she has never left my side.

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After all of our adventures, escapades, and shenanigans — we endured. No matter how many miles came between us we were connected.

They say that true love is eternal and I would argue that a true friendship can surpass all kinds of love.

Thousands of miles, love affairs, marriages, divorces, and babies separated us. Yet that bond was securely intact. It never wavered.

We were and are cemented in sisterhood.

Even now months could go by and we’ll finally talk as if no time has passed between us. The catching up is a delight. The juicy stuff, the bad things we did, the inappropriate things we think. Husbands, boyfriends, crushes, fantasies. We talk about it all. There’s no judgment. There’s no shame. There’s just us. We talk, we laugh, we cajole. And then we hang up for who knows how long.

And that’s okay.

Time passing by is nothing but another element to our already seasoned friendship. The point is that as time is passing, we are always in each other’s thoughts, somewhere. The point is that at some point, we always reconnect. We are soulmates.

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Without my dear friend, I wouldn’t have made it through all of my disasters, mistakes, or screw ups as well as I did. There were so many times that I wouldn’t have known there was light at the end of the tunnel if she were not on the other end of the phone. She has either been by my side, on the other end of a phone, or there with a text in the middle of my life crashing down around me at various points in my life.

A best friend doesn’t share your DNA, your family, or even agree with you in many circumstances. But a best friend is your blanket, your shield, and ultimately your mirror for the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, and all of those complicated grey areas in between.

And so, to my sister in crime, my partner in giggles, my comrade in survival, I love you. You are truly what it means to be the best.

Dedicated to Marie. 

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