How To Solve Problems In Your Relationship Without Breaking Up
Simple to follow steps to resolve any relationship problem before it is too late.
Anetlanda / Shutterstock If you are currently facing relationship problems, you aren't alone. Even the best couples face serious issues in their relationships. The key to resolution is learning how to deal with challenges together before you get so stressed you consider breaking up.
It’s easy to feel stressed out. You have a family and a job — so where does your relationship fit in? Many people think a relationship will make them happy and make their lives easier. Yet, many couples find out this is not the case.
At first, being in a relationship pure bliss. Your partner can’t do anything wrong. But, after a while, things change.
You begin to see your partner as a real human being, flaws and all. This may start to make you feel unloved and stressed out — and may even cause you to wonder if it's time to break up.
Before you decide the problems you are experiencing mean your relationship is doomed, try following these tips on how to fix things right up.
How to Solve Relationship Problems Without Breaking Up
1. Don’t be afraid to talk it out.
Society teaches us to go into a relationship believing everything will just work out. Wrong. You need to tell your partner what you need, what you like, and what you don’t like.
When there is a disagreement, keep talking about it, until you can come to a compromise that works for both of you. Humans are always changing, so wee need to learn to work through our differences.
2. Stop comparing yourself to other couples.
This is an easy one to do. Everyone has done this at one time or another. When you do compare your relationship to others, yours will never measure up.
However, when you start to cultivate the “we” in your relationship, you can make a more realistic assessment. What things are good about your relationship? What things are bad? Don’t be scared to list them. There is no perfect relationship. So, stop trying to be perfect and instead look at the whole picture.
3. Let go of expectations.
People should go into a relationship without expectations. We live in a world where everything is about setting goals. It’s easy to get caught up in the goal and miss out on enjoying the process. Neither of you is perfect. This is the first expectation to drop..
Stop setting deadlines for your relationship. You don't have to buy a house in a year or have exactly two children, one boy and one girl. Expectations will set you up for failure. This will make you feel bad and lead to resentment and resentment is a relationship killer.
4. Admit when you’re wrong and shut up when you’re right.
This is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship, but one of the best. This means after an argument, you need to take a chance to repair.
You can’t get over an argument unless there has been time and space to reflect. It’s easy to let things build up. You don’t want to do this. It will make things worse in the long run.
After taking some time and realizing where you were wrong and where you were right, make sure to right the wrong but let being right have a rest.
5. Build understanding in your relationship.
It’s easy to want to fix the problem first, but you can’t fix anything unless you have a culture of understanding. This means you need to listen to each another. Share stories about your past that are relevant to your relationship.
What have you overcome in your life? How was your parent’s relationship? We learn how to be in relationships through our family of origin. What does this mean? You don’t know what you don’t know.
6. Create a list of stress-reducing rituals.
Are you having fun in your relationship? If you are stressed, then the answer is probably no. You need to have fun with your partner. Try going to places where you have good memories.
Where did you take your first hike together or first weekend getaway? Do you have a favorite movie? Find ways to laugh and have fun together because laughter helps reduce stress. Make that first awe inspiring hike together, or favorite side splitting comedy your regular weekend stress reduction ritual.
Make sure you have a couple of stress-reducing rituals for yourself as well.
7. Learn to self-soothe.
Some of you might be wondering what this is. It’s easy to rely on your partner to soothe you when you feel stressed out. Your partner can’t always be there to hug you. Learn to slow down and take a deep breath. Try it for 10 minutes. This will help bring your heart rate down. Soak in a hot bath or go for a walk. Play around with different ideas and see what works best for you.
You don’t want your relationship to be a source of stress in your life. This will cause you to drift from your partner and it could eventually lead to a breakup. When you get home at the end of the day, you want to be excited to see your partner. You want to feel the stress leave your body.
When you've been in a relationship for a while, it's easy to forget to play or even dream together. Learning how to fix a broken relationship allows you to dream together so you have fun together. This alone will help reduce stress.
The key to solving any relationship problem is really about having a good foundation and habits in your shared daily lives.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist who helps couples looking to rebuild a close emotional connection and get their relationship back on track.