7 Signs You've Outgrown Your Relationship
Sometimes it's better to move forward with your life without them.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock Do you sometimes feel like you are "overqualified" for your partner?
You may be more mature and feel there is an expiration date on the relationship looming soon. You worry your partner is holding you back, not just physically, but emotionally. If so, you need to think about whether you've outgrown them and your relationship is now detrimental rather than helpful to you.
You're not supposed to push your dreams aside for your partner and you shouldn't have to.
Maybe you feel that you are putting more effort into your relationship than they are, or perhaps now you are picking up the tab every single time. It's OK to move on if someone is no longer good fit. Taking time to be alone can help you figure out what you really want and whether or not the two of you can get there together.
Whatever you decide make sure it's what you want and you are happy for yourself. If you're still unsure about whether or not you have outgrown your partner, read and see if the 7 signs match up with your relationship.
Seven signs you've outgrown someone
1. You aspire to do more.
You always look to the future and picture yourself doing more and giving back to others. On the other hand, your partner might not have the same ambitions as you and are struggling to realize their dream.
It's not fair to bring your standards and your dreams down for someone.
2. You always pick up the bill.
It's ok to pick up the bill once in a while or take turns paying the bills as a couple. If you notice that you are always the one who is picking up the bill, there might be a problem. Your money is what you earned, it should be a gift that you are spending it on and not on a partner who doesn't pull their weight in the first place.
3. You feel like the parent in the relationship.
You cant be a parent to an adult, you have to grow up sometime and not while you are in a relationship with someone else. You don't need the stress of taking care of yourself and an immature adult. Some people don't want to grow up but that doesn't mean someone else should take care of their neglected responsibilities.
4. You feel stuck and you're not growing in the relationship (and neither is your partner).
Your partner should challenge you and make you want to accomplish more in your life. If your partner isn't motivated and doesn't have a plan for their own life, how can they motivate you and bring you to your highest potential? You need to challenge yourself or you won't know what your highest potential could be.
5. You feel like you are doing all the work.
You don't need to stress yourself out. You are doing the work and you need to be supported. If your spouse is not supporting you in the way that you need, then it is time to set boundaries.
6. Your gut is telling you that you need to move on.
Your instinct is your best friend. You need it to make the final decision in important situations. If you feel that you need to move on with your relationship you should listen to your gut and go for it.
7. Your friends and family are confirming your suspicions.
Your friends and family know you. They see from the outside looking in and have a different perspective. You might get defensive when they confront you about your relationship, but it might be helpful in the end.
How to break up with someone you've outgrown.
Coming to terms that your relationship cannot continue may be tough. However, you only hurt yourself if you choose to stay in a relationship that is not fruitful and only causes you pain.
Take the time to make peace with the decision to end things. Then, sit and discuss what this will look like moving forward for both you and your partner.
Discuss boundaries and what you intend to be to each other once you break it off.
Finally, allow yourself to heal and process your new way of living.
Njeri Dean is a writer who covers love and relationships.