Why Being A Woman With The ISTJ "Logistician" Personality Type Is A Lot Tougher Than It Looks
It’s hard enough being a woman without people putting you in the “girl" box.
Between the harsh realities of menstruation, sexism, violence against women, and the fight for reproductive rights; it can be hard to be a woman. It doesn’t help matters that there are also pretty strict stereotypes about how a woman should behave in our society.
While not everyone agrees with these stereotypes and some will actually applaud you for going outside of gender normative behavior; that doesn’t stop most of our society from acting like it’s a crime against nature to not be a certain way simply because of biology. And it sure as heck doesn’t stop people from putting you into the “girl box” for how you should behave.
Because apparently having female body parts automatically makes you “sweet,”, “emotional”, and “sensitive” (especially to people’s delicate little feelings).
According to the personality test on 16personalities.com, I am the personality type called ISTJ, or the “Logistician” personality type. This wasn’t too surprising to me considering I’ve always been way more logical and practical than, well, most of the people I encounter.
Diving in a bit more into this personality type got me to thinking. Speaking stereotypically, this personality type is describing a man.
Words like “honest”, “direct”, “insensitive”, and “stubborn” are used to describe this personality type. I couldn’t help but think that most people would assume these words were describing a man.
But the reality is that all these words describe me, a woman, to my core.
I despise small talk. I’m very upfront about myself. I wont sugar coat myself for almost anyone. I refuse to be anything other than who I am. I have a deep appreciation for honesty. In fact, people’s feelings almost always come secondary to my commitment to honesty and efficiency.
Trying to exist this way as a woman has its challenges though. It’s frequently implied (or outright said) that I am “rude”, “cold”, “mean”, or even a “b-tch” just because I am direct with my thoughts, feelings, and opinions; and I won’t do things that I don’t want to do if it doesn’t benefit me or someone I care about in the long run.
In the grand scheme of things, it’s never hurt my feelings that I don’t fit into a traditional female stereotype (obviously, I’m too “insensitive” to let such emotional BS bother me). However, the implication that I should behave differently merely because of my lack of male genitalia does piss me off.
None of these behaviors warrant any of the words I’m frequently called. And, frankly, I can’t help but think that if I wasn’t a woman, I wouldn’t be called any of them.
Here are the reasons it’s hard to be a Logistician personality type as a woman:
1. Because Logicians are honest, but women are “supposed to be sweet” in exchange for actual honesty.
As women, we’re expecting to be sweet and frankly, passive-aggressive instead of being upfront about what we want, how we feel, and our honest to God opinions on important topics. Even my feminist husband is frequently taken aback by how brutally honest I can be. Because apparently women aren’t supposed to be so honest (unless it’s something disgustingly sweet. Gag.)
I rarely sugar coat myself. I find this to only be a half truth and to be a disservice to relationships since I don’t find having to fake my opinions (or emotions when relevant) to be honest at all. In my opinion, no real relationships can come from such dishonesty. How very like the ISTJ personality type, right? I’m very rarely “sweet” (unless I honestly feel that way and I don’t think that’s sweet - just honest) and I won’t pretend to be. This seems to be a problem for some people.
2. Because we’re direct and women aren’t supposed to be so outspoken.
As a woman, it seems to be “unattractive” or “not lady like” to be outspoken (especially when you’re loud and borderline crude like me). But people that fall under the Logistician personality type are direct (i.e. outspoken) about their wants, needs, and expectations.
Normally, this isn’t a problem. I mean, more often than not conservations with people are basically meaningless where you just talk about things considered “polite” and avoid topics that could be “inflammatory” anyway. But, with a Logistician personality type, when a serious topic gets brought up, we may just blurt out our feelings on it. And, if you ask, you’re going to get an earfull.
That’s not always OK when you’re a woman. Probably stemming from that sexist idea that women are "seen and not heard" — excuse me while I roll my eyes.
3. Because, for women, being stubborn isn’t always OK.
Let’s be real, a lot of times in our society a woman who is stubborn or outspoken is seen as “cold”, “unmoving”, or “hard to handle”. Men who are stubborn, on the other hand, are seen merely as “motivated” and “hardworking”. Because a prerequisite for hard work and motivation is obviously a penis.
4. Because women are supposed to be sensitive
Stereotypically, a woman is supposed to be sensitive, caring, and sweet. Literally none of those words describe me (or the typical Logistician). Luckily, the uncaring part comes into play with this one. However, you can’t help but feel like an outsider (even with your own gender) when people look at you funny when you’re not the typical “girl” in the emotional and sweetness departments.
Men get to be insensitive and it’s just brushed off as a “typical guy thing”, but women almost instantly become “cold-hearted b's” when we’re insensitive. But, these are all just the extra ridiculous double standards us Logistician women must put up with, I guess.
Nicole Bradley-Bernard is a writer who needs coffee more than she needs anyone’s approval. She enjoys putting bright colors in her curly brown hair, spending time outside on cool days and being with her partner in life, Eric, who she considers a continuing source of inspiration.