7 Non-Obvious Signs Someone Is Genuinely Trustworthy
How to know you can absolutely trust someone with your whole heart.
Samantha Hentosh | Unsplash It’s one of the first qualities we hope to discover about a person when we start dating them: whether they’re trustworthy or not. While part of trusting someone is simply taking their word, some non-obvious signs will tell whether someone is genuinely trustworthy and reliable.
The best part is that you can tell early on … which will help determine if the relationship is worth investing in. Great relationships give life significantly more purpose, and they translate to resources, advice, and business stability. Trust is at the heart of these connections.
Here are the non-obvious signs someone is genuinely trustworthy:
1. They’re honest, even when It hurts
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This doesn’t mean “brutal honesty,” but a trustworthy person can be honest while still being tactful. “Telling someone something that they may not want to hear takes strength and vulnerability and is a sign that the person you’re dealing with is someone you can put your trust in.
And this can be judged at all stages of the relationship,” says Tanisha M. Ranger, Psy.D., CSAT, a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationships.
2. They can handle tough questions
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Are there any subjects they refuse to talk about or are very vague about when discussing? Asking direct questions is a great way to catch someone that you might have concerns about off-guard.
"Are they calm and collected and openly and honestly answer the question; or do they clam up, get defensive, flip the question on you, or panic over it being asked?” asks Caitlin Bergstein, a professional matchmaker. Their reaction can be very telling as to just how trustworthy they can be.
When handling tough questions, the most effective approach is to take a moment to gather your thoughts, acknowledge the question's seriousness, express empathy, and respond clearly. This often involves clarifying or rephrasing the question to ensure understanding before providing an answer.
A study published in the International Journal of Qualitative Methods stated that this strategy helps manage anxiety, build trust, and deliver a well-considered response, especially when the question might be sensitive or confrontational.
3. They're an open book
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Says Bergstein, “One simple way to test this is to pick up their phone to search something (maybe you’re looking up a new restaurant or checking movie times) and see how they react. If they panic, they may be hiding something.”
A trustworthy person is transparent and should be able to share everything from whom they’re hanging out with to who that guy/girl is that texts them after work hours.
4. They own their choices
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Taking responsibility for one’s actions is a personal thing, not a couple’s thing. “You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you choose. It’s based on the individual’s personal decisions and choices. Not taking responsibility for one’s actions can lead to devaluing the other person,” says Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist, and relationship coach.
For example, they choose to blow $500 at the casino. So, it’s up to them to acknowledge their loss and make it back, somehow. It shows not only their taking responsibility but that you can trust them to do so.
Decision ownership refers to the feeling of personal responsibility and agency in making a choice, which leads to increased commitment and satisfaction with the outcome.
A 2024 study explained that when faced with a choice, people often experience cognitive dissonance if they later regret it. To alleviate this discomfort, individuals rationalize their choice by emphasizing its positive aspects, further solidifying their sense of ownership.
5. You’re tagged in their social media
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It’s not a good sign when you’re dating someone, yet by looking at their social media accounts you’d think they were still single. “When someone is excited about the person and relationship, they want to acknowledge you on social media.
They share your shared events and eventually want to share their changed status,” says Silva. Their being open about your relationship gives a sense of trust that you’re on the same page and that they’re acknowledging and telling others they’re off the market.
6. Their actions match their words — and vice versa
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You hear it all the time: Actions speak louder than words. This is especially true when trying to tell if your partner is trustworthy.
“If your partner never follows through or makes big promises they don’t keep, it could be a sign that they’re not as trustworthy as you hoped. How reliable and dependable they are also ties into this and can dictate whether or not someone is trustworthy,” explains Bergstein.
Aligning actions with words, also known as congruence, is crucial for building trust and credibility, and can be achieved by practicing self-awareness, setting clear intentions, actively monitoring behavior, and addressing inconsistencies through reflection and adaptation.
Research from Princeton University stated that actions that don't match words can lead to cognitive dissonance and damage relationships.
7. They show consistent honesty and integrity
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There is no trust without consistency. “As human beings, we like predictability. It makes us feel safe and able to relax. If your partner tells the truth sometimes and keeps their word occasionally, you can’t relax into that relationship and trust with your whole heart,” says Ranger.
Ashley Papa is a contributor to SheKnows and an editor at Fox News. She has appeared in MSN Canada, Yahoo News, AOL, Insider, and more.