How To Know If Someone Is Interested In You
These are the signs to look for!
Natali Mali / Shutterstock Love can be complicated, but we are often the ones overcomplicating things.
The good thing is that women and men usually exhibit similar signs if they are interested in someone.
If you are seeing someone and trying to figure out, "are they into me?" — keep reading!
Do keep in mind that the only guaranteed way to know for sure whether someone is into you is to ask them, which isn't as daunting as you might think, but the signs below are some excellent clues that may give you some serious insight on how they might be feeling about you.
How to know if someone is interested in you: 14 Signs they're into you
1. They spend quality time with you.
When someone cares about you, you don’t have to beg for their time. It’s quite the opposite. In fact, they look for reasons to spend time with you and look for ways to build in future plans to make sure they stay on your radar.
They want to be in your world and learn as much as they can about you, and the only way to do so is by spending quality time with you.
2. They do research.
When someone likes you, they will probably check you out via your social media feeds, Google to see what is out there on the internet about you and ask you specifically about interests and hobbies. To be fair, you probably do the same exact thing.
Taking an interest in someone, what is important to them and understanding who they are is an indicator of deeper interest.
3. Their body language mirrors yours.
Body language is hard to hide when you’re feeling someone. When you like someone, you naturally mirror their actions. You may touch your hair and they do the same, smile and they reciprocate, touch them, etc. These are all clear actions that you want to engage with the other person and be close to them.
When you mirror someone’s body language, you are saying, “I feel comfortable with you.” It also means you have an interest and like them. The touch which occurs, in little and more significant moments when you mimic their body language is also the beginning of them building intimacy with you.
4. There is awkwardness.
When you like someone, it’s natural to want to impress them. So of course, awkwardness naturally ensues! Has a guy ever said something super awkward to you, and you were like WTH? Or have you ever just become tongue-tied by someone because you were just feeling them and their presence gave you a different kind of vibe?
Yes, we all have, and these are all signs that you like them or have interest in them. Embrace it and know that you are in good company!
5. You meet the important people in their life.
When you like someone, sometimes you want extra assurances, i.e., support and feedback of those closest to you that this person is a good fit. Bringing you into their inner circle of people who are important to them is a sure fire sign that you matter.
When you like or are falling in love with someone, it’s natural to want others you care about or are important in your life to know about them.
6. They show their imperfections.
As much as you initially want to impress someone, you know it’s heading towards love when they completely let down their guard. Here are a couple of examples. They pass gas in front of you, may not exercise the best eating etiquette, use the bathroom with the door open in front of you, let you see them without make-up, hair undone, etc. Strange, right? But, there’s a good reason behind this. The person likes you enough that they feel comfortable enough to be exactly who they are with you.
It makes sense because what is craved by us most is a relationship where you can be yourself and being yourself means feeling comfortable showing our weird and quirky behavior too.
7. Their phone is down when you're around.
Yes, you love your phone and he may too. But, when you are into someone, you want to savor the time you spend with them. Phones matter, but in this scenario when someone is into you, their phones matter less.
They will put in the extra effort to be present during the time they spend with you. And this means putting away their devices and instead focusing that time and energy on you.
8. You're their focus, no matter who else is around.
Ever been in a crowd, and see that couple that seems to be in their own world? They might be part of a group, but they are so actively engaged with one another that you are pretty sure that they are oblivious to others.
And this is what it looks like when someone likes you. It doesn’t matter who is present in the room because their focus is on you. They are engaged with you. The treat you differently than everyone else, and it’s pretty evident.
9. They put in extra effort with you.
If a woman who was very casual in her appearances with you initially starts stepping it up with makeup and dressing up a little bit more, she is feeling you. She wants to look her best.
And if a guy is practicing extra etiquette with you, i.e., opening the door, walking on the outside of you, telling you about his goals and ambitions, he is saying to you I can protect and take care of you.
10. They ask lots of questions.
When someone likes you, they ask questions. It isn’t done in an intrusive manner, but more from the perspective of understanding what matters to you. If you are getting questions from them about what is important to you in a relationship, where you would like to live, travel, your family dynamics, etc. they are making an effort to figure you out and determine how they fit into your life.
11. They offer reassurance.
The signs are subtle and not so subtle. If someone really cares about you and knows it’s important you hear their voice, they will call or FaceTime you more often. If you have made the person aware you have had some disappointing and not so stellar past relationships, they don’t use this against you.
Instead, they will show you by their actions that they are in it for the long-run. They may even say it directly that they are there and want to be there for you. Further evidence is when they also back it up with their actions.
12. They pay attention to what is important to you.
If someone is feeling you, they will pay attention to what matters to you. They will make a note of your conversations with them because what you have to say is important to them. Their actions will include active listening with the intent to offer emotional support, help, or just let you know they care about your best interests.
If they know you like specific gestures, i.e., cards, flowers, etc. they will likely make sure they surprise you with these gestures because they want to add to your happiness. If you have mentioned specific attributes you like about a woman; she will make sure she accentuates these aspects of herself too.
13. They want to be near you.
If someone is into you, they think about you, whether you're around or not. So, when you are around, they'll want to take advantage of that time and be physically close to you. It's a way of establishing or continuing to develop rapport.
They will lean their body toward you. Sometimes, they do this deliberately; other times, it happens subconsciously, because it's part of human nature.
In a group setting, they will try to be seated near you or otherwise next to you. If you work together or you're in another situation where you're being divided into teams for a project or workshop, they'll make an effort to pair up with you. Plus, this gives this extra time to get to know you better, not to mention the simple face that you'll be spending more time together in close proximity.
14. You will feel it intuitively.
There are lots of feelings which exhibit themselves when you like someone. But one we have to pay close attention to is our heart and intuition. Often when something is off, you know it and feel it. But, when something feels right, while it may be hard to figure out all the reasons why it just clicks.
However, if you intuitively don’t know if someone is into you or not and you keep having to search to make sure they are, then you already know the answer.
Elizabeth Overstreet is an author, speaker, and relationship coach.