18 Ways To Speak 'Words Of Affirmation' To Men Who Have That Love Language
Compliment your man often, and see how his self-esteem flourishes!
Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock When you know which one of the five love languages you speak, it changes everything in your romantic relationships. That's something Dr. Gary Chapman had in mind when he created the concept of love languages in his 1992 book, "The 5 Languages of Love: How To Express Your Commitment To Your Mate."
Communication is key to the words of affirmation love language, as it focuses on people who value having their thoughts and feelings heard and validated. As such, communication skills you never realized could matter so much to someone suddenly become central to your dialogue with each other, and you begin understanding where breakdowns have been coming from.
One man asked his fellow Redditors, "What's the best compliment you've ever received from the opposite sex?" and men weighed in with their answers. So, if your partner's primary love language is words of affirmation, take notes — here's how to speak his love language and make him feel understood.
Here are 18 ways to speak the 'words of affirmation' love language to men, according to men
1. Let him know he's always on your mind
"Recently met a former girlfriend from a long time ago. We had a great love story for a few years but it did not work out in the end. We split and had not seen each other since. I mean, like, for 24 years. Now she is married, professional, still beautiful, and she tells me 'I have been thinking of you all my life.'"
To speak the words of affirmation love language to your man, be sure to tell him all the time that you're thinking of him. This will let him know that he means the world to you, and that he impacts your life so deeply that he's on your mind.
2. Keep it short and sweet
"Had a random girl shout, 'You're so hot' as she drove by. Felt good."
Sometimes, men just want to know that they are physically attractive to you, no matter how long you've been together. After all, women aren't the only ones who enjoy receiving a compliment.
3. Get specific
"In college a girl said I had the best calves on campus."
Think about what you like about your guy. Does he make the best pasta primavera you've ever had? Do you appreciate a specific part of his body? Don't be afraid to get precise about what makes you attracted to him.
4. Pump him up
"An attractive female friend told me to stop worrying about my looks because I'm hot. As someone who's gone from being really chubby to being built, I occasionally still feel like my former self, which can make me hesitant at times. I'm probably my harshest critic as I still have pervasive thoughts like, yeah what I have is nice, but I still don't have a six pack so I feel fat."
Everyone can feel down on themselves sometimes, including your guy. But it's all about helping him out of his funk by making him feel good about himself. So, be sure to be his number one fan, reminding him of how amazing he is.
5. Make him blush
"A girl complimented me on my behind one time. I'll admit I blushed a little at that."
While it's nice to receive compliments on your intelligence or accomplishments, sometimes a man just wants to hear how sexy and hot he is. Once you tell him enough times how attractive he looks, he’ll feel great about himself and truly loved.
Los Muertos Crew / Pexels
6. Let him know how he makes you feel
"The best compliment I ever received couldn't have been sweeter: 'You make me feel safe.'"
Just as women want men to tell them how beautiful they are, men want to know that they make you feel adored, appreciated, safe, and everything else that helps someone feel like their best selves in a romantic relationship. So, don’t hesitate to tell him how he gives you butterflies or makes you feel protected.
7. Be spontaneously sweet
"We were at a concert, she was sitting in my lap, head on my chest, and she said she felt safe with me. Like she didn't have to worry about anything, it would all be okay as long as she was in my arms. That was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me."
Along with being spontaneously sweet by doling out compliments and making him feel good, you can speak the words of affirmation love language to your guy by doing something nice for him just because. Buy him a bouquet of flowers, cook his favorite meal, or leave a love note for him to find.
8. Share your dreams for the future
"'I wish I could get pregnant by you because you'd be a great father.’ My girlfriend said this. We're both in our fifties. I told her we could keep trying, that miracles can happen."
Part of a successful relationship involves being on the same page of where you see yourselves going in the next one, five, or 10 years. Tell your man where you see your relationship going down the road, and what big life steps you dream of taking with him.
9. Tell him how he's different from the rest
"Whenever a woman comes to me about her traumatic past with men and says something like, 'I trust you,' it always makes me feel like I'm on top of the world."
On top of being the number one man in your life, your guy wants to hear from you how he stands out from the rest. Obviously, this doesn’t mean comparing him to your exes or guys you’ve dated, but it does mean letting him know how he’s unique, and how that translates into your relationship success.
10. Make him feel proud and special
"'You're the most interesting person I've met' and 'You're my hero' and 'You're a good man.' The latter hits me the hardest emotionally. It came when I was something of a shy loner and was unexpected."
A compliment goes a long way, but you can speak his words of affirmation love language by verbalizing his biggest strengths that define him as a person. Whether it’s telling him how he’s a great father or is the most caring individual you’ve ever known, your words will make him feel like he’s truly someone special.
11. Let him know how he fills your senses
"When she says, 'You always smell good.'"
Think about how your guy tantalizes all your senses. It could be that he looks sharp in a new suit, has smooth, warm skin, or sounds manly when he’s talking to you. Whatever it is, make it known to him.
Альона Бакалець / Pexels
12. Notice the things he does well
"Wife once told me I was the best driver she knew. That really made me feel good."
Often, when life gets busy and our responsibilities take priority, we forget to tell our partner that they are talented at certain things. Maybe your man is great at keeping the laundry from piling up, makes delicious meals that have you licking the plate, or can set up a new electronic device in no time. No matter what it is, it’s important to notice these things and tell him he’s doing a great job.
13. Be original
"One of my older cousins and her parents had come to visit us when I was a kid. At the end of the visit, she gave me a hug and said that she will miss my 'cheery smile.' I have been complimented for my smile a lot, but that was probably the most creative description for it that I've heard."
If your partner tells the most hilarious jokes, tell him. If his hair perfectly shapes his face, let him know. Anyone could tell their partner that they are handsome or a good cook, but go above and beyond to truly tell him something unique about himself.
14. Tell him nothing's changed
"My preschool and kindergarten 'girlfriend' and her parents became family friends with us, as our moms met at some community events. Me and her used to be inseparable when our families had get-togethers, but a couple of years later they moved about halfway across the US...
We kept in contact, and late last year, they visited our area, so we had a reunion of sorts. The girl was still very pretty and had the same bubbly smile, but was, of course, now grown up. She told me it was 'So nice to hear your voice again.' While we never dated, and both had SOs of our own by then, this was still a lovely compliment by the first girl in my life I had feelings for."
No matter how long you’ve been together, it’s nice to know that your partner’s feelings for you haven’t changed. Tell your man that you still get butterflies when he looks at you, love the way he speaks about you, or even that you still have the hots for him.
15. Let him know you feel the same things he feels
"My current girlfriend also frequently says that I am the 'sweetest and most beautiful guy' she has been with. While this is an awesome compliment to get from your SO, it feels even more nice coming from a girl who is so incredibly beautiful and sweet herself."
While your man’s friends could compliment him by telling him he’s great at playing sports or throwing fun parties, these words mean even more when they come from the person he loves most: you! Be sure to tell him that the feeling is mutual, and play into his words of affirmation love language frequently.
16. Flatter him
"'You have the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. It's so curly and full!' From a bank teller after I had worked 12 hours and been repairing my car that evening. I was flattered."
Perhaps your guy has heard you tell him that you love his lips or another body part many times before. If that’s the case, switch it up and tell him something that will really get his heart racing and his smiling gleaming.
17. Show him that he sets the standard
"'I didn't date anybody for three years because you treated me so well.' It meant the world to me that, as her first boyfriend, I set a high bar when it came to how she should expect to be treated by other men."
Much like telling him how he’s different from the rest, let your man know that you see him as the highest possible standard for how guys should treat their girlfriends. Be sure to point out all the incredible things he does for you and how he makes you feel loved.
18. Be a little unconventional
"I've been told I'm pretty in a manly way more times than I can remember. It's odd but feels pretty good."
Maybe traditional or overused compliments aren’t his thing. Instead, say something out of the ordinary that will still make him feel like the king of the world.
Words of Affirmation Examples for Men
1. "I really appreciate that I know you always have my back."
2. "You’re the most special, unique person I’ve ever known."
3. "I'm so lucky to have the hottest, smartest guy there is."
4. "I'm so grateful for every single thing you do for me. Thank you."
5. "How did I get to be with such a hard-working, generous man?!"
6. "I’m so proud of you for all that you’ve accomplished and will continue to do — both for us and yourself."
7. "You take care of me better than anyone else ever could!"
8. "Being in your arms makes me feel safer than anywhere else in the world."
9. "Thank you for being so supportive — you're always my rock."
10. "My favorite part of the day is getting to come home to you."
11. "You still give me butterflies, even after all these years."
12. "There aren’t enough words to describe how amazing you are as a person and a romantic partner."
13. "When I stare into your eyes, I remember why I fell for you in the first place."
14. "No one could ever measure up to you, honey — you are the best!"
15. "Thank you for how understanding and caring you are."
16. "You make everything better just by being you."
17. "When I’m with you, I think of how lucky I am to have you by my side, forever."
18. "Thank you so much for your help, it means a lot that you're there for me."
19. "You inspire me with your positive outlook on life!"
20. "I love how you always know exactly what to do — thank you for you."
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer, editor, former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek, and contributor to YourTango. She has a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime topics. Her bylines have appeared on Fatherly, Bustle, SheKnows, Jezebel, and many others.