7 Little Signs You're An Emotional Eater (And Don't Even Realize It)
Emotional eating is a problem that millions of overweight people struggle with.
Gabriella Csapo | Canva According to the American Psychological Association, statistics show that 49 percent of adults with these challenges are engaging in these types of unhealthy eating habits weekly or more. This doesn't necessarily mean these folks realize they are emotional eaters, though. Many simply think they can't control themselves, that they are "stress eaters" and that there's something "wrong" with them because they aren't able to stop overeating, keep to a diet, lose weight, and keep it off.
Here are 7 little signs you're an emotional eater, and don't even realize it:
1. You can't remember the last time you felt physical hunger
Emotional eaters do not eat out of physical hunger. I've had several of my weight loss mindset coaching clients who had not felt physical hunger since childhood — and they were in their 40s. If you cannot recall the last time you ate food for physical hunger, more than likely you're an emotional eater. The thing is, though, you won't be able to lose weight and keep it off without healing your emotional eating. The human body simply does not require fuel when the tank is already full.
2. Your first thought is always food
When you experience any kind of conflict or uncomfortable situation in life your first thought is always "Where's the food?" and then the behavior of emotional eating easily follows right after. Whether you're unconsciously eating to try to avoid uncomfortable emotions or you're eating in a conscious effort to try to feel better, these are common symptoms of an emotional eating problem.
The problem is that attempting to stuff down your uncomfortable emotions doesn't make them go away. They remain "stuffed" and then "appear" on your body as the excess overweight or obese. Always remember: the way out is through.
3. You feel anxious if you're not full all the time
If you feel high anxiety whenever you get close to feeling physical hunger and you feel better by staying full 24/7 (even before going to bed) then this is a sign you've got an emotional eating challenge on your hands. When you can use other ways to soothe your anxiety such as deep breathing or even going for a 30-minute walk each day, then you'll be able to start moving out of the emotional eating habit and into healthier ways of dealing with your day-to-day anxieties that may pop up.
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4. Even when you're happy, you overeat
This is an interesting one: many folks who are emotional eaters don't just eat when they feel bad, but they also eat when they feel happy. This is a tricky thing to unravel though and while I'm thinking about it, make sure that you get a results-proven emotional eating coach in your corner to help you unravel this stuff to truly break free of your emotional eating.
The reason I suggest this is because I've had several weight loss coaching clients who when they first started working with me, thought they were happy, positive women. What you cannot see right now though, is that feeling depressed, worried, or frustrated regularly becomes "your normal", and until you do the core healing steps to fully break free of the emotional eating, you don't know what happiness feels like. This is something that words cannot explain, only in experiencing it will you truly know.
Another way to explain this is that once you move out of your comfort zone where emotional eating thrives, then you'll have something to compare to. Once you truly break free of this stuff you'll know that what you currently think of "happiness" isn't anything near how good you'll feel once you do the right kind of healing steps to fully step into your power and leave emotional eating behind you.
5. Food is your number one fun in life
When food is your number one fun in life and on top of this, you do not eat purely for physical hunger, then this is another sign you have an emotional eating problem. This is a super common issue for folks struggling with overweight and obesity: something happened in their past and they retreated in their life from that pain or trauma, turning to food for their number one fun and joy in their life.
As long as food remains your number 1 fun, not only will the emotional eating continue, but also it will be a major struggle to lose weight and keep it off. Here's the reason: Just ask yourself...why would you want to let go of your only enjoyment in your life? You fear feeling even more depressed and hopeless, which makes this a tricky trap to break free of.
You can step out of this emotional eating trap though. While it won't happen overnight, not even with the proven steps I coach my clients through in The Inner Self Diet (there is no such thing as instant transformation) a simple step to start with is to examine what you loved doing for fun when you were a child. After you identify that, the question to ask yourself would be, "When was the last time I did that?"
6. You feel depressed at the mere thought of changing your eating habits
The reason that 99 percent of emotional eaters want to stop emotional eating is because they want to lose weight. These are folks who are already aware they are emotional eaters, however here's another sign you're an emotional eater and you didn't realize it: You know you're overweight, you want to lose weight, and you know you're going to have to change your eating and exercise behaviors to reach your weight loss goals. When you only think about making those changes to your eating habits though, you feel depressed and don't know why.
Just the thought of changing your ways of eating sends you into the "doldrums" and drives you to eat more food, maybe even sending you on an all-out binge. If you feel depressed at the mere thought of changing your eating behaviors to lose weight, this is a sure sign you've got an emotional eating problem. Start by making peace with where you are because you will never be able to reach your goals by hating your emotional eating or hating your body. Many are stuck in that place and it only holds you stuck.
7. You always reach the "snap back" point when dieting
Maybe you've had the "snap back" experience before. Here's how it goes: You resolve to do another diet on Monday. When Monday comes, you get yourself going, you make yourself do it, you don't like it but you make yourself stick with your diet. You stick with your diet for a few days or a few weeks, maybe even a month, but what eventually happens, what always happens, is you reach the "snap back" point.
The "snap back" point is the point where you simply cannot stand your uncomfortable feelings anymore, and since you haven't healed the root of your emotional eating, and since no food diet can ever do this for you, you cannot stop yourself from "snapping back." You end up going ballistic in the kitchen, eating everything you can find in the pantry, the freezer, and those sneaky hiding places where all of that food is that you've been holding strong and avoiding eating on your diet.
You "snap back" into frenzied eating because doing a food diet doesn't fix your emotional eating. And then, the way this cycle goes, is that you feel super bad about your "snap back," which drives you to more emotional eating to try to feel better and eventually leads to another Monday of strength and willpower, and the whole cycle starts all over again. The problem with this cycle is that:
- You won't be able to lose weight and keep it off.
- Continuing with this pattern won't fix your emotional eating.
If you recognize yourself in any of these 7 signs you're an emotional eater then now you have the awareness of the problem that has been holding you back from living the life of your dreams, while in the body of your dreams. Awareness is where all change begins. Remember: "The only way out is through," as Robert Frost would say. Food diets are only band-aids on a symptom.
To truly break free, you'll want to heal the root of your emotional eating and then you'll finally break free of those unhealthy, upsetting, frustrating emotional eating patterns. This is the level of transformation I coach my awesome clients through, to get to the other side where it is "No Big Deal" to drop the fat and keep it off.
Stop putting a band-aid on the symptom, fix the real problem, and then you'll finally be able to lose weight, keep it off, and wear that super cute pair of jeans you really wanna wear that your current emotional eating is stopping you from wearing now.
Eating disorders are very common. According to the ANAD (Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders), eating disorders affect 9 percent of the population worldwide, and 28.8 million Americans will have an eating disorder in their lifetime. Eating disorders disproportionately affect BIOPC, LGBTQ+, and people with disabilities.
Second to only opioid overdose, eating disorders are among the deadliest mental illnesses with 10,200 deaths each year as the direct result of an eating disorder — that’s one death every 52 minutes. If you or a loved one are struggling with disordered eating, contact the National Eating Disorder Helpline’s toll-free phone number: 1-800-931-2237.
JoLynn Braley is the founder of The Inner Self Diet, author, mentor, speaker, weight loss mindset expert, and podcast producer.