7 Ways To Have Amazing Sex — By Being Your Husband's 'Mistress'
Wink wink.
moodboard via Canva Many men expect their wives to be their lovers, best friends, nurturers, confidants, lifelong partners, playmates, social directors, family organizers, shoppers, domestic goddesses, soul mates, and sexpots in the sack.
In other words, they want their woman to be more of a mistress and less of a wife.
As with all of these things, sexiness comes from within.
Here are 7 ways you can make your husband's fantasy into a reality and keep your relationship fulfilling for both of you.
1. Look good for him and for yourself.
Just knowing that your man is more physically aroused should give you plenty of tools to turn him on. You can become his fantasy woman by surprising him at the door wearing a skirt or dress so that he can fantasize about what kind of panties you may have on (if any).
Be sure to compliment your outfit with a pair of high-heels to enhance his sense of sight and further eroticize his imagination. Alternatively, you can wear a sexy little apron with nothing underneath when serving him dinner or breakfast in bed.
Getting dressed up is also a great way for a woman to get herself into a juicy frame of mind after a rough day at work or an exhausting time with the children.
2. Flirt with him.
Start by giving him a physical compliment daily and by touching him when he least expects it. Just before he leaves for work, squeeze his butt playfully or give him a heart-to-heart hug as soon as he comes home.
Smile and lock eyes often to release all of those feel-good endorphins that will make you both feel the pleasure of being in each other's presence.
Photo: leaf / Getty Images via Canva
Flirting is the bedrock of romance and it will keep the chemistry in your long-term relationship as long as you make it part of your marriage ritual in and out of the bedroom.
3. Make dates spontaneous.
Take him out for a seductive date for breakfast, lunch, dinner, or any time you find available for spending quality time together. Make it memorable by recreating some of the dates you went on before you got married.
Sometimes it takes some planning to make the best spontaneous dates work, so prepare a picnic and surprise him by taking him to the beach or a park for a romantic rendezvous. Commit to taking trips together, even if they are quickie getaways as it can be the glue that takes the relationship to a higher level of intimacy.
4. Be adventurous.
Make the first move to seduce your man by pushing him up against a wall and making out with him or by pushing him down on the bed, then straddling and kissing him passionately. Try doing something new together so that you get out of your comfort zone and learn new exciting skills such as power exchange.
Go to a Tantric Sex or Kundalini Yoga class and discover the benefits of spiritual sexuality. Learn to dance the tango together and create sexual anticipation on the dance floor.
Or take an online course on aphrodisiacs and then cook a menu of love foods together.
5. Don’t ambush him with complaints.
Men want their wives to be happy, so the last thing they want to hear after work is complaints about all the things that went wrong during the day. Greet him with affection, give him some space, and let him feel like a King in his domain before you state your list of complaints.
If he can’t fix the problem, it will just make him feel helpless and even emasculated, so focus on communicating the positive things that happened in your day and ask him to share his best moments from his day as well. Don’t keep pent-up problems to yourself, but do share them with friends, family, and your husband when the time is right so that they don’t feel like they were ambushed.
6. Play into his fantasies.
Sharing fantasies has a way of increasing intimacy and it can add creativity to your sex routine. By sharing with someone you trust you can let go of the guilt and shame surrounding your fantasies. And you’re cuing your partner into what is most pleasing to you.
Sexual fantasies for men are generally more sexually explicit than women’s. They revolve more around physical objects of desire, specific sexual acts, visual content, and details related to physical appearance.
Encourage him to share his wildest fantasies with you, and be sure not to be judgmental when he does. Talk about which fantasies you both want to turn into reality and which ones should remain as fantasies.
7. Ignite your passion to fuel his fire.
When you please yourself, you automatically please your partner, because he does not want to have to work at giving you pleasure and, quite frankly, that’s not his job anyway. Identify what gives you the most pleasure by tapping into your five senses.
Then take time to look in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Bonus points if you do this naked. Now you are ready to make passionate love to yourself and treat yourself as if you are madly in love with yourself.
Masturbation is the epitome of self-love and exploration of what makes you feel best. It can help you explore your sexual fantasies, and it's a precious gift of self-acceptance as well as a key to living a healthy sexual life.
Let your partner watch and it will send him over the moon!
Dr. Ava Cadell is an author, clinical sexologist, sex counselor, and founder of Loveology University. Her mission is to empower people to overcome sexual guilt and shame so they can enjoy the benefits of healthy relationships.