The Hardest Part About Loving You, Based On Your Love Language
We all have some qualities that are difficult to love.
SeventyFour / Shutterstock Dr. Gary Chapman's five love languages are an interesting concept regarding relationships. Understanding you and your partner's specific "languages of love" can help to improve your relationship and getting to know your partner better.
Although there are many self-help books these days — especially on love — Dr. Chapman's digs deeper into relationships to explain the various ways we communicate with our partners. And we all know how important communication is to successful relationships.
These five love languages can help with making our relationships better, but they can also help us discover some truths about ourselves and understanding the tougher parts about love — such as what makes it hard to love you.
So here is the hardest part about loving you, based on what your love language is.
Quality Time
If this is your love language, it means that the most important thing you need from your partner is their undivided attention. Whether it's a date, a nice, quiet night at home, or even a simple conversation, you must have this alone time with your partner for the relationship to survive and for you to feel comfortable and satisfied.
The hardest part about loving you: You must be your significant other's main focus or the relationship will feel empty. Although spending quality time together is important to any relationship, sometimes people that fall under this language can take it to an extreme that can feel suffocating to their partners. Postponing a date, failing to listen, or distractions, such as your partner texting during your alone time, can easily set you off. Also, going a while without this alone time frustrates and upsets you.
People with this love language can sometimes come off as clingy or nagging to their partners, so before moving forward, it's crucial to take a few deep breaths and understand that being there for them is the best thing you can do for this language.
Physical Touch
Obviously, this language requires touch over anything else.
Showing love physically — through hugging, cuddling, or kissing — is super important. However, it can get a little tiring for the partners of this love language to always be giving physical affection and not any other kind.
The hardest part about loving you: If your partner is uncomfortable about taking the PDA level up a notch, then they probably aren't the one for you. This language doesn't place a lot of importance on verbally showing love, which can frustrate their significant other. When it comes to more serious issues, your partner may find it upsetting when you don't want to talk it out. It's important for them to understand that physical touching is what makes this language feel loved and safe.
Acts of Service
You're big on action. These people like to have some help from their partner when things get tough in their lives. They like knowing that their partner will be there for them in times of need.
The hardest part about loving you: Not following through on something you promised you would help your partner with could mean an argument — or worse. This language places a lot of emphasis on a relationship being a two-person job. People under this love language also like having little favors done for them and if you don't do them, they assume that it means you don't care about them. This could turn tricky, especially in the long-term, as it could start to seem like your partner is doing everything to keep you happy and they could feel as if it's become an unequal partnership.
Gifts
It isn't hard to figure out that this language loves receiving presents. Gift-giving makes you feel loved. This language takes gift-giving very seriously and usually turns it into its own special occasion. It's important that gifts have thought put into them and enthusiasm is usually pretty abundant after receiving the gift.
The hardest part about loving you: Money is no object to you. The only thing that matters is that the gifts are meaningful and constantly given throughout the relationship. You're the most expensive language to love, which can be difficult for your partner's wallet! It can also cause arguments about money and spending too much.
Words of Affirmation
It's important that your partner states their love to you in actual words, and often. Hearing "I love you" and other compliments is what keeps the relationship alive for you and keeps your faith in your partner's love strong.
The hardest part about loving you: Words hold SO much value to you, meaning that any negative ones could hurt deeply and take awhile to forgive — that is if they ever are forgiven. Partners to this language always have to be careful about watching what they say. This can put stress on the relationship, because this language is so sensitive when it comes to words. You also tend to hold grudges when something is said that you don't particularly like. The constant affirmation needed in this love language can get exhausting for even the most patient partners.