13 Most Unattractive Things Women Do When They Feel Desperate
Don't beg for a man who doesn't deserve you.
Konstantin Postumitenko | Canva If there is anyone who has done a lot of cringey moves in their dating career, it’s me. Admittedly, I’m not proud of this. It’s taken me looking at my old diary pages and reading old messages I’ve sent to make me realize how badly I was behaving with some of the guys I was interested in.
Now, I’ll also admit that much of the cringe I had was reactionary. Had the guys I was interested in treated me better, I would have behaved much better. However, looking back, I definitely should have ghosted them and refused to acknowledge their existence instead.
Speaking as someone who’s pulled cringe-inducing moves in the past, it’s often the case that people need to point out what you’re doing wrong. If you’re not having much luck in love, check to make sure that you’re not making these massive dating mistakes women make.
Here are the 13 most unattractive things women do when they're desperate:
1. Asking a man who hasn't treated you right why you’re “not enough”
Ugh, it’s so tempting to do this, right? The truth is that there are a lot of men out there who are immensely stupid. They’ll pass up great women because they think something else will suit them better.
The fact is, they might be right or they might be wrong. However, you can’t change their mind. Asking them why just puts them in the spotlight, and while you might want to argue their choice or know the real answer, doing this will not lead you to anything positive.
Guys will not tell you why they don’t want a relationship with you. Half of the time, they don’t honestly know, either. The funny thing is, they will probably come back and act sad after the “primo” option rejects them. Don’t bother with a guy who does this, though; he’s shown his nature and proved he’s worthless to you.
2. Drinking too much
Trust me, nothing is attractive about the girl who drinks herself into a slurred-speaking mess. The only guys who will find that attractive are the ones who will want to take advantage of you. According to a OnePoll survey that asked participants about first dates, 46% of respondents find drinking too much on a first date to be a turn-off.
3. Sharing too much information
Don’t ask me why but being excessively lonely tends to make a lot of people start talking about really messed up stuff to people who shouldn’t be hearing them. It’s tempting because it feels like you’re bonding with them.
The only problem? Doing this will make most people freak out and assume you’re crazy because you’re acting that way.
4. Throwing a public tantrum
Unless you’re two years old, no one will think that having a tantrum in public is cute. Especially during a date — or worse, when a date decides that he’s not interested in pursuing you.
I know it hurts when a guy does this, but crying in public and shouting isn’t the way to handle this. Showing him he made a mistake by being more successful than he’ll ever be, though, is.
Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels
5. Threatening self-harm if he breaks up with you
Doing this will not work and suggests that you may have deeper problems than not getting a guy to date you. Should you be tempted to do this, it may be time to take a dating break and work out your issues with people.
6. Shaming him or insulting him if he rejects you
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink. If he doesn’t want to date you, there’s no point in convincing him to via browbeating. It’s a moot point. Besides, doing this only further pushes him away and makes you look crazy. If he rejects you, do what you can to be cordial and then stop talking to him.
7. Hitting on taken men
This is never cool, period. First, it breaks the “Girl Code” of not taking someone else’s boyfriend. Second, it clearly shows that you don’t value yourself enough for anything other than sloppy seconds. Third, being the other woman rarely pans out, so unless you’re okay with him never leaving his primary for you, avoid this. It won't last, with one study from 2017 showing that relationships that started with infidelity are often unhappy.
8. Dropping your entire life for a guy
Say it with me: “No!” This is a good way to turn a potentially healthy relationship into a codependent mess. Even if you do have a man, you still need a life of your own. Doing this also makes men respect you less, which in turn means they’ll be less interested in you. So, don’t do this if you’re looking for a ring.
RDNE Stock project / Pexels
9. Convincing a guy to be serious with you by being more accommodating
Don’t ask me why this is, but men just don’t react well to this at all. Rather than realizing your value, guys who end up with a girl who does this will typically take her for granted and then leave.
If he says that he doesn’t want something serious, believe him. Then, once you believe him, LEAVE. A guy who doesn’t want anything serious with you provides you no value and is unlikely to change his mind regardless of what you offer, so why stick around for extra heartache?
10. Going full Nice Girl or Misandrist online
Nice Girls and misandrists do exist, and while they’re not as common as Nice Guys and misogynists, they are out there. Trust me when I say it’s just as cringey when girls talk about how “nice girls finish last” as it is when guys complain about similar issues. Even if you were wronged, it doesn’t do anyone any good to put people on blast.
11. Stalking him
“Oh my! Look at what a surprise! You’re here... exactly where you always hung out... yep.” Nope. This is a good way to make any sane guy nope out the door the minute they see you.
12. Getting pregnant to keep him around
Doing this will NEVER give you the life you want — ever. At best, you will end up in a marriage with a man who resents you more and more with each coming year.
At worst, you’ll end up a single mom or a woman with an abortion bill. Either way, it’s not wise to do, nor is it even morally right.
13. Begging him for a date, intimacy, attention, or commitment
Oh, honey, no. Don’t do this to yourself. You’ll feel better not begging and just going your way, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.