What Happened When I Got Propositioned By A Male Prostitute

I want to point out before I start this article that I’m totally okay with prostitution. I believe that it should be legalized and regulated as a way to prevent human trafficking. Heck, I’ve even paid for sex and dates in the past when I needed to get over a dry spell. However, there’s a difference between calling up a male escort and... whatever this was.

This proposition wasn’t done via Craigslist or some other website. It wasn’t done at a bar. It was a guy who acted interested, then quickly revealed what — and who — he was in the worst possible way.

I’ll start off by saying that this was a personal trainer who I hired to get into shape. His workouts were good, but then he started showing interest in me. The more I spoke to him, the less comfortable I became. Something about him seemed dodgy, and I couldn’t place what it was.

Then one day, while I was working out, I mentioned I was trying to book a new design deal that would make me a considerable amount of money.

My trainer then broke character and told me he was about $500 late on rent and was scared of being evicted. I told him I was sorry to hear that and offered him suggestions on how he could save money and possibly get side work from Uber.

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He said he didn’t want to put his car through the wear and tear that comes with driving for Uber. Understandable. I suggested alternative modeling since he was relatively good-looking. Nada.

We finished up the workout. It was getting awkward.

Then, he texted me that he was willing to train me for six months plus “free whatever” for $300 upfront. After sending that single text, he added yet another one where he cautioned me not to bring the offer out in the open since he had a girlfriend.

At this point, I had enough. Like, everything about this was just awful.

He didn’t get that I didn’t want to sleep with him for free, so he tried to slap a price tag on it and essentially be a male prostitute. I also had a feeling he was taken and that his girlfriend wasn’t up for an open relationship.

I don’t know whether he thought that I was overweight and therefore desperate for male attention or what, but homegirl doesn’t play that way.

At this point, I asked him if he was serious. He said yes. I let loose on him, explaining how sleazy, pathetic, and just plain idiotic he was being.

I told him, in subtle phrases, that I could easily just get him fired from his gym for this. And then I told him we were not to speak of this matter again.

I sat back in my car, still thinking about what just happened, as I looked down to the text with the offer of the "free whatever alongside training" for $300. A flurry of emotions boiled up in me, some I didn’t even know the names for.

I felt insulted, first off. Like, did he really think that I needed to pay for sex just so a guy with a six-pack would look at me? Because that’s seriously not the case. Also, did he take me as an idiot? It seemed like it.

Anger was next. No, not anger. Rage. I felt insulted and I felt like this was more of the same sh*t "dating" scene I continue to see.

 It’s bad enough that guys have absurd standards when it comes to looks and how a girl should behave. But now guys also want girls to support their asses, despite women doing most of the emotional labor in relationships?

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The worst part is, I’ve seen this happen with multiple people I know.

Guys get paid more than women for doing the same job, and now guys want women to pay for their asses. Like, really, who do people like this jackass think they are? Have men really absolved themselves of any sort of standard aside from one of extreme narcissism?

How disgusting and how pathetic. Oh, and how manipulative! I felt bad for his girlfriend, who is probably completely in the dark about what he was doing behind her back. I honestly wish I knew who she was so I could warn her about him and tell her to get tested.

Then, I felt sadness. I can’t help but be disappointed by today’s men.

It’s sad, considering that the only thing I’ve wanted, ever, was a loving husband who would take care of me and let me take care of him. These days, I honestly can't trust any guy to be the strong, courageous, integrity-filled human being capable of having a healthy relationship. How can I, when all I've seen is sh*t like this? 

It’s sad to see what a cesspool of potential mates there are out there. I felt sad for others like me, for his girlfriend, and for this guy’s mother.

I looked at the phone again and thought of how many men hurt me over the years.

I don’t see how I can respect a gender after seeing so much of the ugly side of them. Every time something awful happens because of a man doing some kind of slimy sh*t like this, I lose my attraction to the gender just a little more. Soon, there’ll probably be nothing left but disdain for men as a whole, and honestly, that may be for the best.

Though I probably should have done otherwise, I didn't tell the gym.

I still have one session left from the package I bought, and boy, am I pissed about that. It's awkward. I don't want to work out with him again, ever. I mean, how could I? What he pulled was absolutely appalling, and showed zero respect for women — even a woman he allegedly cares about. 

When stuff like this happens, I have to wonder how far did we as a society have to fall to get to this point? How low is dating going to go before everyone who’s worth a damn decides it’s not worth looking and starts going their own way?

The current levels of selfishness I see in the dating scene are not sustainable. There’s going to be a point where the majority of people will prefer to have single-parent households, simply because they will feel the only person out there worth relying on is themselves.

And you know what? I won’t be able to blame them in the least bit when they do make that leap.

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Alex Alexander is a Yourtango.com pseudonym.